NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
AOC has, despite her very public feuds with Elon of his wealth, her vapidity, and whether Americans trust oligarchs or idiotic politicians more, decided to keep her Tesla for the time being and keep driving Elon’s brain child around town while feuding with him on Twitter.
Or, at least, that’s what she wanted to do and tried to do. Things didn’t go so well, however, when she decided to pull into a gas station to grab a soy latte and, not thinking about what she was doing, jammed a gas pump into the charging port and letting the $6 a gallon unleaded gas flow.
Her boyfriend, busy sitting in the car like a good boy while playing “Candy Crush” on his phone, didn’t notice.
In any case, she was confused as to why the process was more difficult than normal but, her head firmly focused on how to rebut Elon on Twitter later, didn’t devote too many of her sparse brain cells to what was wrong with the whole situation.
It was only after she bought the soy latte and, her mind clearing with a few sips of the putrid concoction, realized what she had done.
Freaking out and screaming about “racism” at gas stations, AOC ran back to her top of the line Model S, which by then had had its internals thoroughly soaked with gasoline.
Hoping everything was okay, she tried turning it on remotely. That didn’t go well, as the gasoline within the vehicle was set alight by the electric currents flowing through the vehicle and that fire set the battery on fire, thus sparking a roaring lithium battery fire in the middle of the gas station. Luckily her boyfriend was able to escape the flaming vehicle.
Tucker Carlson somehow obtained the security camera footage and played it in full on his show, much to AOC’s chagrin and his audience’s delight.
Attacking Tucker for that the next day, AOC accused him of “racism”, saying:
“Would he be making these jokes if a white man had accidentally plugged his Tesla into a gas pump and then set it on fire? No, he would not have. (No white man has yet done so)
“But, of course, the second a Latina makes an honest mistake with her car, Tucker Carlson and his cackling jackals of an audience decide to start laughing at her!
“That’s totally unfair, totally racist, and exactly why a BIPOC woman like me has to live in fear of men like Tucker and their racist, evil tendencies. This behavior has to stop before it’s too late.”
She refused to clarify what she meant by “too late”, though Tucker later joked on Twitter that she meant more “BIPOC women” would set their Teslas on fire in protest of…something. Elon, not wanting another crisis on his hands, encouraged them not to do so on Twitter, at least until fire departments figured out how to put out lithium fires.