Skip to content

After Twitter Sale To Elon Musk, Thousands Of Blue Checks Announce Plan To Use Chinese-Owned Weibo For Warm Blanket Feeling Of Censorship [SATIRE]

    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    Shortly after Elon Musk purchased Twitter for over $40 billion, thousands of leftist users abandoned the soon-to-be free speech haven and announced a plan to join up again on Weibo, the CCP-owned social media company, in the hopes of finding an online environment that censors different opinions. 

    Several Twitter users posted one final tweet announcing their departure:

    “In order to save democracy, we must prevent ideas from being heard!”

    “Can’t wait to join Weibo. The Chinese actually know how to run a country on democratic principles!”

    “Thanks, Elon. Misinformation is an existential threat to America. I guess I will take my state-sanctioned opinions to communist China!”

    “Twitter will be overrun with deadly disinformation. Can you imagine sick people learning about early treatments or sharing opinions on the FBI’s admission that there was no organized coup on, or their involvement in, the January 6th insurrection?” People will DIE!!!”

    “If you care about freedom, you should join me on Weibo. Twitter accepts hate speech and promotes violence. The Uygh—–” (This account has been deleted.)

    Several prominent black billionaires welcomed Musk, congratulating him on becoming the first African-American to own a major social media company. Robert Johnson, founder of BET, shared how he was glad to be sharing a media presence with another African-American heavyweight. Oprah Winfrey, another media mogul, sent warm wishes and was excited to have him on her show.

    However, both Johnson and Winfrey were quickly condemned because they forgot that race doesn’t matter as much as political viewpoints. Musk might be an African-American, but he doesn’t share the same outlook on controlled, legislated speech or even basic ideas of freedom. Thomas Sowell, Clarence Thomas, and Larry Elder followed up with private messages saying you get used to not being seen for your ethnicity despite daily leftist clamoring to see everyone precisely for their ethnicity.

    It’s worth noting how this story began. Elon Musk wrote weeks ago about his intention to purchase the Big Tech behemoth and how he saw use of that:

    “I invested in Twitter as I believe in its potential to be the platform for free speech around the globe, and I believe free speech is a societal imperative for a functioning democracy. However, since making my investment I now realize the company will neither thrive nor serve this societal imperative in its current form. Twitter needs to be transformed as a private company.”

    Of course, free speech is code for white supremacy. The concern among those with blue checks and blue hair is that Alex Berenson, Robert Malone, Donald Trump, and other hate-filled, violent extremists might rejoin the same platform that hosts Planned Parenthood, the Taliban, and Iran’s Ayatollah. 

    Elon Musk promotes free speech, even inviting those who disagree with him. He sent out a tweet Monday morning saying: “I hope that even my worst critics remain on Twitter, because that is what free speech means.” 

    It remains to be seen if Musk’s most ardent detractors can safely remain on an optional online app. They will willingly log in everyday and be subjected to all kinds of different opinions and will likely face pushback on their sheltered worldview. 

    What if they post “glad to have been boosted during my fifteenth time testing positive for Covid” and someone asks if they still believe in the vaccine? What if they post “can you imagine how awful January 6th would have been if not for the bravery of AOC” and someone asks how bad it might have been if the FBI weren’t there? 

    This is serious.

    Do you think Trump should be arrested?(Required)
    This poll gives you free access to our premium politics newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
    This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.