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On Two-Year Anniversary, George Floyd’s Mother Regretted Not Getting An Abortion [SATIRE]

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    In a shocking twist to competing leftist narratives, a recent cache of forgotten VHS tapes from the Floyd family reveal that Floyd’s mother was strongly considering getting an abortion when she was pregnant with young George.

    “I just don’t know what will become of him,” Ms. Floyd can be heard saying as the camera pans from her head to her buttocks in a classic case of male filmography.

    “I don’t know how I can support him. And I had so many more plans for my life still. Plus, dependency runs through our family, and drug use is just getting easier and easier. And I keep hearing about a new synthetic called fentanyl. What if he becomes a user too?”

    A second video appears to show the young mother ruefully wishing she would have gone through with it.

    “Life is so demanding now, what with work and bills and everything else. Plus, George just won’t listen to anybody. It’s so frustrating to give him basic directions like cleaning his room or setting the table and he just won’t do anything. Do I wish things were different? Sometimes, yes.”

    News of these videos’ release caused seizures and strokes among devout abortionists and purveyors of the notion that Derek Chauvin killed George Floyd because of his skin color, even though Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison made sure to comment (after the trial, of course) that prosecutors hadn’t found any evidence that race factored into police decisions at all.

    On one hand, abortionists would have been glad to see Floyd murdered in utero. At the same time, they were screaming loudest about his death in police custody. Murder isn’t wrong to these people, it’s simply politically useful or not.

    Commenting on the video, one television pundit said the revelation turns the entire narrative of Floyd’s life upside down.

    “Imagine if you will, for a moment, the hurt, anger, and violence that erupted in the wake of Saint George’s death on that fateful 25th of May, 2020,” the host began. “Stores were looted, cities were burned, and scores of people were murdered in the immediate aftermath – “

    “Yes, but Covid went away for three weeks,” interrupted another panelist. A few other talking heads nodded in agreement. One added: “I actually thought, as tragic as this event was, that at least global tyrants would have to concede their plandemic failed.”

    “As I was saying,” continued the host. “The hurt, anger, and violence all stemmed from the belief that Floyd’s life had worth and that it was stolen from him. What becomes of that belief system if his mother would have been considered a strong, independent woman exercising her basic rights in the 1970s?”

    He further elaborated on this point:

    “At what point did George Floyd’s life have value? When society found it convenient? Ironically, his death would have served the same leftist political end. In the first case, his abortion would have perpetuated the Democrats’ dream of relentless infanticide, whereas in the second case his death was again propped up, this time for the narrative of supposed police brutality and systemic racism.”

    As for Floyd’s mother, she obviously did not have an abortion.

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