NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Another day, another disaster for the Biden Administration when it let Biden talk. This time that came thanks to Biden making an admission about the state of the economy during a speech on infrastructure and how it is helping build up the American economy.
Rather than that going well, however, Biden instead rambled a bit about conversation he clearly didn’t have in the past, but claimed to have had, then went on to explain what is really going on that makes ok-seeming data far worse than first glance would have one suspect. He said:
“I grew up in a family, like many of you, where when the groceries prices went up, the price of a gallon of gas went up, it was a conversation at the kitchen table. I mean literally, not figuratively. Those conversations have been going on at kitchen tables all across America for awhile now. The conversation — the conversation about whether we’d have enough left over at the end of the month for my dad to be able — he used to say, “have a little bit of breathing room.”
Well, this past week, as Americans gathered around their own kitchen tables for Thanksgiving dinner, that was our goal: to give them a little more breathing room. And together, we made progress. You know, from turkey, to air travel, to a tank of gas, costs went down. They went down.Now, to people making a lot of money, that doesn’t matter a whole lot, because the costs are relatively small compared to wealthy incomes.
In fact, as a share of earnings, this Thanksgiving dinner was the fourth-cheapest ever on record. And I want you all to know that. I look at all the press looking out. The press is particularly excited about that. I can see.Well, look, all kidding aside, that’s not all. On Thanksgiving two years ago, 100 container ships were waiting in the docks — to dock on the ports. They were lined up 100 long out into the ocean. This year, there were less than 10.”
Then, he made the embarrassing admission, telling the crowd, “And look, that’s because…well, because the recession is happening. We’ve been trying to hide it or avoid it or whatever, but it’s what’s happening. And that’s a fact, Jack. So we have fewer ships because people are spending less and we need less goods. So there are just 10 of em. That ain’t thanks to mayor Pete, he’s a fool and totally incompetent.”
“So that’s no good. But. look, we’re Americans. We can make it through this. We can win! We’re Americans. That’s how we roll. The economy is our thing. So I have Hunter involved, I have Hunter’s friends involved. We’re gonna win. It’ll be ok. But yeah, not looking too great right now…all of you know that, you can look around. The GDP numbers are fake, duh.”
At that point, Dr. Jill Biden walked up on stage and led Biden off the year, hectoring him while doing so and arguing that he needed to not say such things during his speeches.