NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
President Biden again attempted to speak about his so-called “Bidenomics” economic policies during a Thursday speech in Pennsylvania, telling the crowd that, whatever their lying eyes might see, everything in America is really going wonderfully. He then, as could be predicted, said too much and noted his deep involvement with China.
It began with the typical sort of anti-capitalism, hard to follow rant that Biden is known for with his speeches on economics and the economy, saying:
I’m here today to talk about what we’re doing to invest in America, invest in Pennsylvania, invest in our clean energy future — and to talk about the progress we’ve made building an economy from the middle out and the bottom up. You know, I came to office determined to strengthen the middle class. I often say — and I mean it sincerely — you know, Wall Street — good folks down there, but they didn’t build the middle class, they didn’t build America. The middle class was built by the middle class, and unions build the middle class, and it changed the economic direction of this country.
Because we — I got tired of trickle-down economics. I’ve never been a big fan. If the wealthy do very well — I’m a capitalist. I like the wealthy to be able to be wealthy. But if they — the mere fact they do well doesn’t mean that everybody else does well. I watched my dad growing up. There was not a whole lot of benefit trickled down on his kitchen table as a consequence of trickle-down economics to what everyone from the Financial Times to the Wall Street Journal has become my change — my — a different philosophy. They — I don’t — I don’t think they started off trying to be complimentary, but they started calling it “Bidenomics.”
And our plan is working — Bidenomics. And here — And here’s what it looks like. Over 13 million new jobs built across the country and nearly half a million of them here in Pennsylvania just in the last two and half years. Eight hundred thousand manufacturing jobs, twenty-eight thousand here in Pennsylvania alone in the last two and half years.
Then Biden kept talking, saying, “And look here, Jack. Where’d those jobs come from? Well I will tell ya where uhhhm, uhh, where from. China! That’s where. The mean orange man hated China because its full of smart people. People way smarter than he is, that’s for sure. So he wanted to keep them away, Not me! Not after all they did for Hunter!”
“So what we gotta do is, uhh, well you just gotta find Chinese companies to invest in America. It’s just that simple, Jack. They’re building these plants. It’s their companies, their capital, their wage structures and such. And that’s a good thing. That’s what America is all about. Chinese heavy industry and environmental pollution in the hope of making a quick buck.”