NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
It was another day of nonsense and incompetence over at the Biden White House, this time thanks to its utterly incompetent (or CCP-compromised) cybersecurity team…which found itself unable to prevent a page on cybersecurity from getting hacked.
The page, posted as a press briefing to the White House Briefing Room, originally patted the Biden Administration on the back for its supposed good work in fighting for cybersecurity, something that proved to be very unearned praise. In any case, the page originally said:
Today, the Biden-Harris Administration unveiled the National Cyber Workforce and Education Strategy (NCWES), a first-of-its-kind comprehensive approach aimed at addressing both immediate and long-term cyber workforce needs. Filling the hundreds of thousands of cyber job vacancies across our nation is a national security imperative and the Administration is making generational investments to prepare our country to lead in the digital economy. The NCWES is positioned to empower every American seeking to participate in our digital ecosystem and underscores the critical need to fill a vast number of vacant cyber jobs.
The approaches outlined in the NCWES will supplement the Administration’s ongoing efforts to grow and strengthen middle class working families, including through the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, CHIPS and Science Act, and the Inflation Reduction Act. With the release of the NCWES, the Biden-Harris Administration is working to fill good paying, middle class jobs.
Many communities currently underrepresented in the cyber workforce do not envision themselves in cyber jobs or are not aware of the tremendous opportunity to join this important and growing workforce. The NCWES focuses on empowering Americans to pursue these career paths in cyber. Many of these jobs are attainable with a certificate or community college degree, and available now in your local community and across the country.
Then came the hacking. Though it’s currently unknown what group or country was behind the hacking, though the Biden regime was quick to accuse Russia, the warmongers in the GOP were quick to accuse China, and the conspiratorial populists on both the left and right accused the hack of being a “false flag,” one inside source did discover a clue about how it was conducted.
That source, who wished to remain anonymous, told us that a small flash drive was discovered about two hours after the hack of the White House occurred. The drive was unmarked and not from a clear country of origin, though it apparently did not look Chinese or Russian based on the external or internal materials used.
In any case, it took the Biden White House’s vaunted cybersecurity team almost three hours to take down the hacked page, which displayed pictures of Hunter Biden smoking crack with prostitutes and details of his relationships with different oligarchs and hostile foreign governments around the world, particularly in the Ukraine and Red China.