NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Vice President Kamala Harris tried rallying union support for Joe Biden’s regime by praising and highlighting his administration’s investment in infrastructure, though that fell apart and turned into a speech on smoking illegal narcotics when she got distracted and started rambling with what she thought the crowd wanted to hear.
The speech began, as is usual with her, with utter nonsense and rambling about tenuously connected topics that are meant, more than anything, to make her look like a more “victimized” person and so more valuable to the DNC because she checks all the diversity and victimhood boxes. During that portion of the speech, she said:
As many of you know, in terms of my background, my parents met while they were protesting for civil rights. When I was a child, they would take us to the marches — me in a stroller. And at the very earliest stages of my life then, I learned the power of solidarity. That when we use our collective voice, whether at a protest or on a picket line, we can drive great change.
The belief in the power of solidarity has in- — has really guided me my whole career. And it guides our administration. President Joe Biden and I are determined to lead the most pro-union administration in America’s history.
And we do so proudly. We do it proudly. Because, you see, we know, like all the leaders here know: When union workplaces are safe, it makes all workplaces safer. When union wages go up, everybody’s wages go up. And when unions are strong — and I say this as Vice President of the United States — when unions are strong, America is strong. (Applause.) We’re clear about that. And so, I want to thank all the union workers here today for the work you do to help build a stronger America and, in particular, over the last two and a half years, for your work to help build back up America’s infrastructure.
Then things went even more downhill when Kamala forgot what she was supposed to say and started rambling about how the Biden Administration is promoting drug use in American workplaces. “And what infrastructure are we investing in?” Kamala asked. “I’ll tell you,” she continued. “We’re investing in the things American workers want and need to remain productive and, you know, like, umm, happy at work. We really do care.”
“So that means,” she continued, “that we’re investing in weed smoking rooms for all. It’s just not fair that you can’t light up some ganga, that’s what my dear parents called it, and relax at work. Frankly, it’s racist and meant only to hurt black Americans as they struggle for recognition and dignity in the workplace. So, no matter your profession, we aim to make smoking weed at work legal and to invest in the infrastructure to make that possible.”
Professions involving dangerous equipment, such as heavy machinery and transportation infrastructure, were aghast, but Kamala promised there would be “no racist exceptions” to the new investments.