NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Team Biden recently faced a huge amount of criticism over its laissez-faire approach to the utter disaster in Hawaii in which perhaps 1000 children were burnt to death because the climate crazies didn’t want to use water to put out the fires. So, it tried to get ahead of such drama by responding to Hurricane Hilary quickly and getting Biden to get up and give a quick speech on it.
Predictably, that went terribly, as they gave Biden enough stimulants that he tried to improvise and got of the teleprompter…which ended exactly how you would expect, which is with him making an awkward joke and getting skewered for it.
Things began less terribly than usual, which is to say that Biden remained speaking somewhat correctly and without the usual amount of gibberish and “c’mon, man” comments. He said:
As soon as Tropical Storm Hilary’s path became clear, my Administration took immediate action to prepare. At my direction, FEMA deployed to California federal personnel and supplies that can be surged to impacted communities. The U.S. Coast Guard pre-positioned aircraft to allow for rapid response and search-and-rescue efforts. My Administration also deployed federal personnel to Nevada to ensure the state has additional support, and we will continue to coordinate with California, Nevada, and Arizona on any resources they might need.
This afternoon I spoke to California Governor Gavin Newsom about the emergency preparedness measures in place, and the initial response to Tropical Storm Hilary. I continue to be briefed on our preparedness efforts, and the storm’s potential impact – including flooding. My Administration stands ready to provide additional assistance as requested. I urge people to take this storm seriously, and listen to state and local officials.
We are also closely monitoring the earthquake that occurred in Southern California, and any resulting impacts.
Then, when getting to the “resulting impacts” part of the speech, he decided to improvise and slipped up. He said, “And look, there might be some resulting impacts, after all. It’s hurricane Hilary, ain’t it? And heck, there are a lot of, umm, like data centers and such out there in California. So maybe the hurricane will delete some emails, if you catch my drift. Heck, maybe the hurricane might even “suicide” a few people if you know what I mean. It is hurricane Hilary, after all. Hehe.”
That got everyone mad. Conservatives were outraged that Biden obviously knows that Hillary Clinton has done many illegal things, from deleting emails to killing whistleblowers, yet does nothing about it. “Shouldn’t you have the DOJ investigate her if you know she was deleting emails and sending the Clinton Kill Team after people,” a viral tweet said.
Similarly, leftists were mad, saying, “How dare Biden insult a strong and empowered woman?! She stood up to the patriarchy by fighting for a political career! He needs to back off this!”