NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Biden continues to claim he has been successful in fighting inflation, an absolute absurd point of view on his part given the dramatically and painfully increasing prices that many Americans are struggling to pay for as Bidenflation rages out of control.
“Today’s report provides more evidence that core inflation is trending down toward pre-pandemic levels at a time when employment remains strong. Unemployment has remained below 4% for 19 months in a row, the share of working age Americans with a job is the highest in 20 years, and real wages are higher now than they were before the pandemic. Overall inflation has also fallen substantially over the last year, but I know last month’s increase in gas prices put a strain on family budgets. That’s why I remain laser-focused on cutting energy costs, including by investing in clean energy to bolster our energy security. We’re continuing to build an economy from the middle out and bottom up, with better jobs and lower costs — even as Republicans in Congress push for tax cuts for the wealthy and large corporations and devastating cuts to programs hard-working Americans count on,” he said.
Then, he continued on with a rambling statement about poverty and insurance markets, saying that all is going well on that front thanks to his administration, even as the dastardly Republicans attempt to steal the very bread out of children’s mouths:
“Today’s Census report shows the dire consequences of congressional Republicans’ refusal to extend the enhanced Child Tax Credit, even as they advance costly corporate tax cuts. We cut child poverty by nearly half to record lows for all children in this nation largely by expanding the Child Tax Credit. Last year, Congressional Republicans insisted on raising taxes on families with children. The rise reported today in child poverty is no accident—it is the result of a deliberate policy choice congressional Republicans made to block help for families with children while advancing massive tax cuts for the wealthiest and largest corporations. No child should grow up in poverty, and I will continue to fight to restore the expanded Child Tax Credit to give tens of millions of families the tax relief and breathing room they deserve,” he said.
Continuing, he defended higher prices in insurance and other marketplaces, saying, “Look, folks, I care about people more than prices. It’s just that simple. If prices go up a bit but the homeless and undocumented migrants get the treatment they need, that’s wonderful. If chicken costs a bit more, but a village in Africa is better fed, I see no problem with that. Republicans, on the other hand, they just care about prices. They’d rather gas in America be cheap than gay rights be respected in Yemen! That’s just crazy folks, and if it’s what you think, you need to head to their tent, as we care more about prices than people here.”
The gathered crowd mostly left, looking for cheaper prices as opposed to insane rambling about disastrously bad foreign policy decisions from the president.