NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
This week, the White House released a brief and not overly descriptive press update about a meeting Biden and his officials had with black politicians and business leaders from around the country. It said:
“This week the White House offices of Intergovernmental Affairs, Public Engagement and the National Economic Council convened Black mayors and county officials for a roundtable with philanthropy, unions and nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) to discuss ways to grow and train the local workforce for high-quality jobs made possible by President Biden’s Investing in America agenda. Participants included the mayors of Baltimore and Augusta who govern cities which are designated as White House Workforce Hub locations as well as the mayors of Atlanta, Georgia, Birmingham, Alabama, Little Rock, Arkansas, Long Beach, California, Mount Vernon, New York, and Newport News, Virginia. County officials in attendance represented, Shelby County Tennessee, Fulton County, GA, and Almeda County, and Tarrant County, Texas, among others.
Participants were provided information on technical resources available to access Bipartisan Infrastructure Law and Inflation Reduction Act programs. The participants discussed best practices for local governments to create effective partnerships with philanthropy, unions and NGOs to train and connect American workers to jobs. They also focused on how resources like the Investing in American Technical Assistance Guide and initiatives like the White House Workforce Hubs can ensure equitable access to good jobs for all. Senior Biden-Harris Administration officials attend[ed].”
Normally, such a piece would be full of supposedly important “leaders” congratulating Biden and Harris on being so future-minded and willing to help the “oppressed,” but this one included none of that. In fact, it was mostly mum on any sort of details other than that the event happened and had a vaguely industrial bent.
The New York Post did some digging and quickly found out why: Biden infuriated those black leaders and community members who showed up by badgering them about Cornpop, his arch nemesis as a young man, and repeatedly asking if they wanted menthol cigarettes.
The New York Post, in its investigative report on the matter, claims that at one point Biden said, “Listen here, Jack. We gotta beat crack. I know you folks, or at least your friends, love snorting it about as much as you like making money from slinging it…and trust me, Jack, I get needing to make some cold, hard cash…but we gotta beat crack. I WON”T LET CORPOP WIN!”
Then, in another, it reported, “President Biden was discussing the threat China poses to black-owned technological start-ups when, nearly out of the blue, he leaned in close to the group of five men with whom he was speaking and asked, ‘want a menthol? I got a pack in my pocket, Jack.’ That infuriated the gathered leaders, who could tell that Biden still held many stereotypes about them. Three did take him up on the offer and have a Newport with him, however, much to Dr. Jill Biden’s fury and dismay.”