NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
How are things going with Team Biden? Not great. For one, Biden continues to be a rambling disaster and his son Hunter is an imbecile whose foolish misadventures have landed him in a whole lot of trouble and are presenting a big problem for his campaign. But things also are going badly from a foreign affairs perspective, as now the enemies of America abroad don’t respect us and are launching attacks.
That second part is a big problem for Biden, as now it means that the US military, significantly weakened by wokeness in recent years and lacking the high-quality personnel it needs to effectively fight and win wars, is now having to launch attacks everywhere from North Africa to Yemen, Iraq to Somalia, which is increasingly a problem for its already overstretched resources. The Biden Administration launched the attacks on Iraq and announced them this week, saying:
Early this morning in northern Iraq, U.S. military personnel were targeted by a one-way attack drone. The attack wounded three U.S. service-members, one critically. The Iranian-backed militia Kataib Hezbollah and affiliated groups, under an umbrella of Iranian-backed militants, claimed credit for the attack.
President Biden was immediately briefed on the attack this morning, and he ordered the Department of Defense to prepare response options against those responsible. Those options were then presented to the President during a call this afternoon with Secretary of Defense Austin and members of the President’s national security team. During that call, the President directed strikes against three locations utilized by Kataib Hezbollah and affiliated groups focused specifically on unmanned aerial drone activities.
The President places no higher priority than the protection of American personnel serving in harm’s way. The United States will act at a time and in a manner of our choosing should these attacks continue.
Continuing, the Biden Administration went on to trot out a phrase from the Bush Administration and its disastrous war in Iraq, saying, “Folks, we want you to know that, here, the mission is accomplished. Mission Accomplished, as President Bush said. This was a small war, we won it, just had to do some bombing and a few Special Forces had to launch raids on the ground. That’s it. So there won’t be an insurgency this time around, we’re not getting sucked in, none of that. We just had to do a bit of bombing and now the mission is accomplished.”
Trump, taking Team Biden to task online, said, “They’re using what Bush said when he and Cheney (whose daughter is TERRIBLE, VERY MEAN!) LIED to the American people about IRAQ and invaded it, then declared ‘MISSION ACCOMPLISHED’ after starting that DISASTER! I was AGAINST Iraq then and I am AGAINST invading Iraq now! Don’t listen to their lies, the Mission is NOT Accomplished!”