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“A Distraction”: Biden Gets Ever More Desperate to Avoid Border Situation

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact, treat it as such.

    Things got awkward at a recent press gaggle when President Joe Biden was asked about the current situation at the border. Beginning, when asked about whether he is negotiating with Mexico to slow the flow of migrants cross the border, he said, ” Well, I’ve learned a long time ago, and you know as well as I do: It never is good to characterize a negotiation in the middle of a negotiation.I remain optimistic because I’m a congenital optimist. But I really think there’s a desire on their part, as well as ours, to reach an agreement, and I think we’ll be able to do it.”

    In other words: no, no he has not. Instead of initiating negotiations with Mexico to slow the flow of migrants, he’s just making excuses for not doing so.

    But that wasn’t all. Asked later if he planned of doing anything at all to slow the flow of migrants across the border before the situation gets completely out of hand, he then said:

    Not in the near term, no. No, it would just be disruptive, not anything else. And, by the way, on — when I went up to Beau’s bench, you know, at the other — about four miles up — I met two — two people come up to me — there were a bunch of people. That’s why I was little late. I was taking a lot of pictures. But came up and said, “We went to St. Paul’s in Scranton.” They went — (laughs) — to the same little grade school that I went to. And so I was up there with — there’s Scranton people everywhere.”

    And then, asked if the administration realizes that the situation is growing into an even bigger one and getting yet more out of hand as its cope widens, he said: “Well, look, they are — they have gone down. My hope is they’ll continue to go down, but we have more — a lot more work to do. And we need some more help from the Congress as well in terms of funding and legislative changes.

    And why is he so intent on not defending the border? Well, that was discussed too. Asked about it by Peter Doocy during the press conference, President Biden said, “Look, man, just look. And heck, this is important. Whwat we really need to know–what you need to know and understand, I mean, is that Hunter’s friends are deadly serious in demanding that the border not be closed. they really want it open so that, like, all their cheap labor pours across. That’s just the way it is, Jaci, and we need to accept that. Know what I mean?”

    Everyone was stunned into silence, shocked that Biden accidentally said what many had suspected all along. Biden, however, was nonplussed. Instead of looking surprised, he wandered off in search of oatmeal.

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