NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
America used to be the “sweet land of liberty”. As the first stanza of the song America (My Country, ‘Tis of Thee) goes:
“My country, ’tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty,
Of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims’ pride,
From ev’ry mountainside
Let freedom ring!”
But now that song can no longer be sung because of one of the first words in it: liberty.
That’s right, the Democrats, acting on impulse after watching hours of footage from the January 6th “insurrection” during the near-constant hearings from the past week or so, have decided to ditch gun control for the time being and instead start focusing on attacking the use of the term “liberty”, which they associate with the far-right.
In fact, they’ve even gone so far as to ban the use of the term, describing “liberty” the word and use of it as “hateful” and even “fascistic”. Yes, according to confirmed genius Kamala Harris, who certainly isn’t in her position for reasons of boosting diversity in the White House and Brandon Administration:
“Let me just tell you this, as a black woman, ‘liberty’ is racist. Not the idea of it, that’s okay, we’re fans of the meaning and all over here at the White House, but the word itself. I, as a black woman, have I mentioned that I’m a black woman yet? Oh, I have. Well, I, as a black woman, quake in fear when I hear that word.
“Yes, more than the n word, more than any other racial slur, more than anything else, in fact, liberty scares me. And why should I have to live in fear? Why should I, a black woman, have to listen to these fascists talk about how much they love liberty?
“Liberty doesn’t mean you can do what you want, what is right, or what your conscience dictates. It means you can do what the government allows, and now we’re not allowing you to use that word because it’s racist, fascistic, and evil.
“So from now on, use of that word, hereafter known as the l word, will be treated as a hate crime, punishable by 5 years in prison and a $100,000 fine per use of the term. Criticism of the policy will be treated as treason.”
Kamala then walked off coldly as a National Guard unit assembled to protect her fixed bayonets and aimed at the crowd, which by then was singing America (My Country, ‘Tis of Thee). As the gunshots rang out and cold steel was plunged into the breasts of patriots, spilling their blood on the scorching hot asphalt of D.C. in the summer, all that could be heard over the shouting and gunfire were the words of the song’s final stanza:
Our fathers’ God to Thee,
Author of liberty,
To Thee we sing.
Long may our land be bright,
With freedom’s holy light,
Protect us by Thy might,
Great God our King!