NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
One of Biden’s recurrent gaffes and lies is that, whenever he feels the need to try and garner sympathy from a crowd, he lies about the cause of death for his son Beau, who died in his forties just a few years ago.
Though a tragedy, Beau’s death of brain cancer has mostly just been a political prop Biden uses. When a police officer shoots a thug, Beau died of police brutality while trying to stop racism. When terrorists act up abroad, Beau died in the global war on terror trying to save a transgender youth from reactionary terrorists. When a mass shooting happens, Beau died trying to rescue kids from the Columbine shooters.
Such is the mangy rabbit Biden tried pulling out of his had yet again during a speech on Bidenomics and unions, saying that Beau died of monopolist violence when he tried to fight for unions and against Big Business, a laughable proposition given the Biden Family’s corruption. Beginning, Biden said:
Look, guys, we’re announcing a historic investment in America’s railroads. I’ve been talking about this for a long time, I know. But finally — finally, we’re getting it done. More than $16 billion — 16 — with a “B” — billion dollars here in the Northeast Corridor. Twenty-five different projects. All to build a Northeast Corridor from Boston to Washington. It’s part of my agenda to invest in America — and I’ve been fighting for this for a long time. To invest in Americans, not just America.
And there’s no better place to make this announcement than in my home state of Delaware, here at Bear Maintenance Facility. And a few miles away at the Wilmington Shops, over 800 — over 800 people keep trains in the entire Northeast Corridor working in good order. And it’s not been easy because some of them are pretty old trains.
Mechan- — machinists, electricians, pipefitters, facility workers — you know, coach cleaners, boilermakers, laborers, foremen. They have one thing in common: They’re all good-paying union jobs. Union jobs. Union jobs. I’ve been saying it a long time: The middle class built America, but unions built the middle class. Unions built the middle class.
That’s when Biden got to Beau’s supposed death. He claimed, “Look, folks. I care about the middle class and unions. Deeply, real deeply. My pa was a union member. He was! And Beau, dear Beau, he died fighting for the right of workers to disobey their monopolist overlords and join unions.”
“Yup, that’s a fact. For real. It is. Delewarians wanted to…ummm…be in unions and stuff and, you know, have rights. That’s all they wanted! But the monopoly men wouldn’t let them! They made them work for nearly nothing in terrible conditions! So Beau rallied the multiethnic working class and used his powerful voice and muscular physique to demand those workers have their rights and be able to join unions. And the big bosses eventually killed him for it. They did! But the workers won in the end, and that’s what it’s all about.”