NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
President Joe Biden’s son Beau Biden, who unlike Hunter was a somewhat productive member of society, died of brain cancer when he was 46 years old. A tragic death, to be sure, but Biden has routinely lied about it to try to make himself more relatable to those hurt by his policies. He’s said Beau died during George W. Bush’s invasion of Iraq. He’s said Beau was killed by a hurricane. And now he’s said that Beau died in a wildfire.
That came when Biden spoke in Hawaii and was struggling to make himself relatable to those whose lives, homes, and families were destroyed by a fire that raged out of control thanks to far-left environmental policies. He began by making up a story about firefighters, saying:
Jill and I are here to grieve with you but also want you to know the entire country is here for you. That’s not hyperbole. We mean that. The entire company — country is here for you. We just surveyed the damage. I want you to know: whatever it takes, as long as it takes. And I look at your congressmen and senators and governor and lieutenant governor. We’re going to get it done for you, but get it done the way you want it done — (applause) — not get it done somebody else’s way. No, I mean it.
I don’t want to compare difficulties, but we have a little sense, Jill and I, what it’s like to lose a home. Years ago — now 15 years ago — I was in Washington doing “Meet the Press.” It was a sunny Sunday, and lightning struck at home on a little lake that’s outside of our home — not a lake, a big pond — and hit a wire and came up underneath our home into the heating ducts — the air conditioning ducts. To make a long story short, I almost lost my wife, my ‘67 Corvette, and my cat. But all kidding aside, I watched the firefighters, the way they responded.
You know, there’s an old expression — I grew up right across the street from a fire hall in Claymont, Delaware. And the expression is, “God made man, and then he made a few firefighters.” You’re all crazy, thank God. The only people who run into flames to help other people. And they ran into flames to save my wife and save my family. Not a joke.
That’s when he brought up Beau. “And why do I care so much about this like they cared about my family? Because Beau died in a wilfired. He did. It was the one started by that volcano in Washington..Mt. something or other, erupting. He died when that fire almost burned down the state. It was like in Star Wars…lava all over him. So I hate wildfires and want to rescue you from this one.”
The crowd was unimpressed, knowing that he was lying. So the hissing and booing started, with one loud member of the crowd yelling, “And was it Hunter’s crack pipe that started the fire in your house?! Or did you burn your oatmeal?!” Biden, distressed and tired, walked off the stage as the heckling grew in vitriol and intensity.