NOTE: The Following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Sure as rain, when something tragic happens, President Slow Joe Biden claims that his son Beau, who died of brain cancer unrelated to his military service in the Navy, died of that tragedy. Such was the case yet again recently, with Biden issuing a statement on what the administration is doing to combat AIDS and claiming in it that Beau died of AIDS.
On this 35th commemoration of World AIDS Day, we remember those we have lost to HIV/AIDS and commit to accelerating our efforts to fight the disease and support those with and experiencing risk for HIV. The Biden-Harris Administration remains committed to implementing the National HIV/AIDS Strategy (NHAS) and achieving the bipartisan goal of ending the HIV epidemic domestically and globally. This year, the Administration also celebrated the 20th anniversary of the U.S. President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR), the largest commitment by any nation in history to fight a single disease.
The global community, including the U.S., is making progress toward eliminating HIV transmission, but we must accelerate these efforts. In too many communities, barriers to comprehensive HIV prevention and treatment limit awareness, access, and engagement in HIV services by priority populations with or most at risk of HIV. In addition, HIV-related criminalization, stigma, and discrimination continue to undermine the effective use of tools to reduce HIV transmissions to our 2030 goals.
Nevertheless, thanks to the efforts of community, state, and federal partners, we are making important progress toward the National HIV/AIDS Strategy (NHAS) and the PEPFAR Strategy goals.
Biden then said, “And look, Jack, why do we care about this? What’s the big deal? I’ll tell ya. Beau died of AIDS! And that’s the God’s honest truth, Jack. He did, We kept it quite because of prejudice, but it’s what happened, I tell ya. Ain’t no way it ain’t. Ya know? So that’s what we’re fighting: bigotry.”
Bien then proceeded to ramble about Beau and Hunter, saying, “Ya know, I woulda thought it’d be Hunter that died of AIDS, if I had to pick. Beau was always put together and responsible, no Turkish bath houses or whatever for him…he was a good boy. Hunter…now I love him to death but he ain’t so discriminating if you know what I mean. I saw the pics on the…the Russian disinformation computer! I saw those girls he was with. Not exactly what you bring home to your mom, know what I mean?”
“So that’s why I care about the issue. It’s why it’s personal. Why I’m fighting so hard. Beau coulda lived if we had a president like me in office [Joe was Vice President when Beau died]. But we didn’t. We had the bad orange man. So now we gotta fight back and save Hunter from AIDS before it kills Beau like it killed him…or….you know, the thing.“