NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
As pretty much everyone not living under a particularly large rock now knows, President Biden is a huge fan of ice cream. Whenever he gets a chance he chows down on the widely-loved dessert, particularly when he is in public and wants to look more like a man of the people. With his sunglasses on, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and massive ice cream cone in hand, Joe looks just like a guy pretending to be a man of the people, so perhaps he’s succeeding in that respect.
But, while the ice cream shtick might work on the average suburban mom, it is (unfortunately for Slow Joe and the gallons of ice cream he consumes each weak) not working on the more radical members of his party. Those dedicated radicals are more than a bit unhappy with a certain something about his ice cream consumption.
What is that certain something? That he always eats vanilla ice cream, but nearly never eats chocolate ice cream.
Commenting on that to Vanity Fair, BLM co-founder Patrice Cullors said:
“Look, it’s all well and good if President Biden wants to have ice cream when he’s out in public. Yes, there’s a complicated history there because many owners of enslaved people would brutally force those enslaved individuals to make ice cream…remember, it had to be churned by hand, and so they relied on the enslaved individuals for the labor required to produce it.
“But ice cream production is generally mechanized now, so we don’t really need to worry about that. What we do need to worry about is the ice cream selection he makes. Have you noticed what he does when he chooses flavor? It’s always vanilla! Every single time.
“Now maybe he just likes vanilla and it’s not a pointed, racist message. But, frankly, I think otherwise. I think when he eats vanilla ice cream in front of the public day after day, what he’s really doing there is sending a message to the world that he thinks brown things are less desirable and less valuable than white things. I mean, why else would he eat vanilla ice cream so often? The message is very obviously a racial one.”
Biden’s Administration, for its part, fired off a scathing reply to Cullors, saying that President Biden is a “longtime advocate and firm believer in the Black Lives Matter movement,” but that “he will eat whatever flavor of ice cream he wants, whatever its color.” Continuing, the administration added that “there was no racial message in Biden’s ice cream selection and that he is, in any case, ‘color blind’ when it comes to picking a flavor.”
BLM then rioted that night, as Biden appeared on the White House balcony with a cone of vanilla ice cream to tell them that his ice cream choices were not racially motivated.