NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Team Biden recently released an incredibly telling statement on the Biden-Harris Administration’s attempt to help develop black-owned businesses in America, in which they admitted to enacting punitive taxes on white-owned businesses that are meant to help pay for handouts to black-owned businesses. Beginning the statement, they said:
Over the past three years, President Biden and Vice President Harris have leveraged the full force of the Federal Government to advance racial justice and equity and ensure the promise of America for all communities, including Black Americans, across the country. With the support of these efforts, Black Americans are starting new businesses, creating jobs, buying homes, and taking advantage of increased education opportunities at historic rates—contributing to a 60% increase in wealth compared to before the pandemic.
And this boom in wealth creation following the pandemic is helping to drive a historically equitable economic recovery. From promoting entrepreneurship to increasing access to homeownership and delivering the lowest Black unemployment rate, from proving it’s possible to reduce child poverty to historic lows to expanding access to quality affordable healthcare, from advancing voting rights and police accountability to ensuring equal access to a high-quality education with historic funding for Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs), President Biden and Vice President Harris are committed to investing in the future of Black communities.
Through the President’s legislative victories, including the American Rescue Plan (ARP), the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law (BIL), the CHIPS and Science Act, and the Inflation Reduction Act (IRA)—as well as the President’s historic executive orders on racial equity—the Biden-Harris Administration is ensuring that federal investments through the President’s landmark Investing in America agenda are equitably flowing to communities to address longstanding economic inequities that impact people’s economic security, health, and safety. And this vision is already delivering results.
Continuing, the statement then got into the reparations bit. “For example, this vision has led to a historic effort to promote black-owned businesses across all sectors of the economy through providing reparations to those businesses. For example, from now on, businesses owned by people of privilege, defined as Caucasians/whites, will be used to create a slush fund to help create black-owned businesses.”
“We believe that this reparations tax, as some are calling it, is incredibly necessary to resolve and correct historical inequities and ensure that those who desperately need relief from patterns of oppression seen throughout America for many years now, centuries, in fact, receive such relief. The tax will be a small, fixed levy so as to avoid administrative headaches or the ability to dodge it. Every white-owned business in the country will now need to pay a $2000 reparations tax to pay for the fund. ‘Business’ included LLCs, partnerships, corporations, sole proprietorships…any form of business, formal or informal, in existence. White-owned means any business with one or more white owner, member, shareholder, or partner. We look forward to using this program to advance black-owned businesses.”