Skip to content

Joe, Hunter Biden Blasted for Showing Up to White House Ready for Madison Cawthorn-Themed Cocaine-Fueled Orgy

    shutterstock 1871062741
    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    Madison Cawthorn, shortly before being attacked by the establishment and then losing his reelection race, sounded off on the degeneracy in D.C., saying:

    “The sexual perversion that goes on in Washington … being kind of a young guy in Washington, where the average age is probably 60 or 70 — [you] look at all these people, a lot of them that I’ve looked up to through my life, I’ve always paid attention to politics. … Then all of a sudden you get invited — ‘We’re going to have a sexual get-together at one of our homes, you should come.’ … What did you just ask me to come to? And then you realize they’re asking you to come to an orgy. … Some of the people leading on the movement to try and remove addiction in our country, and then you watch them do a key bump of cocaine right in front of you. And it’s like, this is wild.”

    Well, President Joe Biden, having been kept out of the loop about current events by staffers and concerned apparatchiks within the government worried that he might start World War III or further diminish Democrat reelection prospects by putting his foot in his mouth yet again, just heard that Cawthorn statement and, channeling his inner Hunter, decided to participate.

    So, one afternoon, after waking up from his daily 9 am-3 pm nap, decided to strip off his clothes, break out a brick of cocaine, and invite Dr. Jill and the cabinet over for a party.

    Appalled and grossed out, everyone, including Dr. Jill, sprinted away as fast as possible and asked the Secret Service, used to having to watch him swim naked, to deal with the issue.

    It was then that things got even wilder. Hunter Biden heard about the party from his mom and, not wanting to miss out on anything fun, showed up with 7 Russian prostitutes in his Tesla and a second brick of cocaine.

    Rushing into the Oval Office, Hunter and the prostitutes found Biden trying to fight off the Secret Service while completely nakes and off his rocker on cocaine.

    Then, in what was a serious misreading of the situation, the Russian prostitutes that Hunter brought along decided to start attempting to perform sex acts on the Secret Service agents, thinking that they were there to have fun. That ended with guns being drawn and tasers fired by confused and creeped-out Secret Service agents. A few of the agents, however, were reportedly disappointed with their colleagues for not rolling with it, as Hunter did find a few beautiful prostitutes.



    Regardless, the situation was just another embarrassing scandal for an administration plagued by embarrassing scandals involving Hunter and his proclivities.

    It’s unclear who leaked the news about the event, though the cabinet officials who were grossed out by it are most suspected of being responsible for the leaks to the media.

    By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of GenZConservative.com. Follow me on Parler and Gettr.

    Is Biden the worst US President ever?(Required)
    This poll gives you free access to our premium politics newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
    This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.