NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Is Team Biden taking the inflation threat seriously? Yes, in that it wants a way out of the crisis, but unfortunately that means that the brain trust that put us in this situation will be the ones responsible for somehow getting out of it.
That’s a problem because they have so far shown no indication that they know how to do so, first claiming that the crisis was “transitory” and now that the crisis has spiraled out of control and certainly isn’t transitory, is instead claiming that the way out of inflation is to print more money.
Speaking on that plan during a fireside chat-type livestream from the White House about the inflation situation, President Joe Biden said:
“My fellow Americans, I…uhhh…uhhh, well I know you’re worried about what’s been going on with everything, with the issues left me by my predecessor. That bad orange man did lots of bad orange things, but luckily I’m in charge now.
“So, rather than going off the rails into crazytown with some sort of Ultra MAGA policies that would ruin the country, what we’re gonna do is use responsible solutions to solve the crisis. I know what I’m doing, so there’s no need to worry. No need at all.
“I know you want a plan, want a solution, so here it is: we’re going to solve inflation by printing more money and then handing it out to ordinary people.
“Think about it this way: because of the Putin price hike and Trump’s inflation, the dollar is worse less than ever and barely even buys the baby formula that you can’t find on the shelves anywhere thanks to…someone other than me. So what’s the solution? Just have more dollars, so then you have the same amount of wealth, after the inflation is taken into account.
“See, if a dollar is worth half of what it used to be, then we will just print twice as many dollars and then give them to you so that you can purchase the same amount of goods. It’s that simple, so simple that even Hunter understood how it would work!”
An economist at the University of Chicago, when asked about the plan and its efficacy, started sobbing uncontrollably, saying that people would “never learn” and that he wished he had bought more Bitcoin and gold when Trump was in office.
Rep. AOC, however, came out in support of the plan, saying that “it was pretty close to Modern Monetary Theory, or MMT”, so she was in favor of the plan because “it’s like, totally a proven fact that MMT is great for people of color because it erases centuries of racism.”
She refused to elaborate and explain how it does so, though she did accuse Tucker Carlson of “racism” after he made fun of her claims as “somehow dumber than her.”