NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Biden just decided to push for yet more tools to use to surveil American citizens in a speech released around Christmas, commenting on the NDAA and saying that it needs to give him more money to use for spying on us. In the speech, he said:
Today, I have signed into law H.R. 2670, the “National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) for Fiscal Year 2024” (the “Act”). The Act authorizes fiscal year appropriations principally for the Department of Defense, Department of Energy national security programs, Department of State, and the Intelligence Community. The Act provides the critical authorities we need to build the military required to deter future conflicts, while supporting service members and their spouses and families who carry out that mission every day. I also thank the Congress for its extension of title VII of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. My Administration looks forward to working with the Congress on the reauthorization of this vital national security authority as soon as possible in the new year. While I am pleased to support the critical objectives of the NDAA, I note that certain provisions of the Act raise concerns.
Certain provisions of the Act, including sections 856(c), 1221(a)(7), 1269, 1687, 7315, and 7351 would require the President and other officials to submit reports and plans to committees of the Congress that will, in the ordinary course, include highly sensitive classified information, including information that could reveal critical intelligence sources or military operational plans or could implicate executive branch confidentiality interests. The Constitution vests the President with the authority to prevent the disclosure of such highly sensitive information in order to discharge his responsibility to protect the national security.
At the same time, congressional committees have legitimate needs to perform vital oversight and other legislative functions with respect to national security and military matters. Accordingly, it has been the common practice of the executive branch to comply with statutory reporting requirements in a way that satisfies congressional needs pursuant to the traditional accommodation practice and consistent with due regard for the protection from unauthorized disclosure of classified information relating to sensitive intelligence sources and methods or other exceptionally sensitive matters, as well as to preserve the confidentiality of internal executive branch deliberations, particularly those with respect to decisions bearing on the Nation’s national security. I believe the Congress shares this understanding, and my Administration will presume that it is incorporated into statutory reporting requirements of the kind at issue in the Act.
Continuing, he said, “Look, what we need to be able to do is spy on Americans and make sure we know what those MAGA racists are up to! They’re bad news, Jack. Real bad news for our democracy and they really must be defeated. And here that means we have to use all the tools at our disposal to stop them.”
“Congress likes to imagine that we can do that within the bounds of the uhh…you know, the thing. We can’t! But democracy is more important than any little constitution or whatever. That’s not important, our democracy is! Well Congress better wake up so we can stop these MAGA extremists.”