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Biden Exposes Mob Connections in Speech on the Economy

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    Speaking during a recent speech on the economy, President Joe Biden let slip an important detail about his life, indicating that he has connections to the New Jersey mob made famous by HBO’s hit show “The Sopranos.” Here’s what he said:

    The thing about Terry is: Whatever he says, he does, even when circumstances change.  I love the people that say, “I’ll be there with you,” and then they say, “Oh, I can’t anymore.  Things have changed.”  Whatever he tells you, he does.  Whatever he tells you, he does.  And we’ve been working together since he was 12 years old.

    No, I’m only joking. 

    But, you know, every time I have a problem in Delaware, Gov, I just go across the river to New Jersey and make sure everything got squared away.  (Laughter.)  You think I’m joking.  This is the most reliable guy and one of the most reliable guys in labor or business.  And I really appreciate it.

    So, look, I want to thank Sarah for that introduction.  And, boy, can she wield a mean hockey stick.  (Laughter.)

    Biden obviously didn’t think that comment was a big deal or that he let anything of importance slip, as he then went on to ramble about his granddaughter’s sports career, sayingI tell you, I was in the back — the reason we were taking a little longer is I have a granddaughter who’s a hell of an athlete. She’s going to graduate this year from college. But she’s — she played lacrosse and — and field hockey. I mean, excuse me, lacrosse and soccer. All-State in both subjects — in both sports. And she went off to school and she said, “I can’t…” — “I can’t work 40 hours a week on the field and still do well in school.” So, she decided to stay. I was hoping she’d go pro. But, anyway, you know what I mean.”

    But, though Biden wasn’t worried, others listening to the speech were. What’s more, they were prepared to do some digging and start looking into what Biden was up to with his comment about his friends “across the river” in New Jersey that got everything “squared away” for him.

    What they found is that Biden got in tight with the New Jersey mob thanks to his friends in China, people he met through his son Hunter’s lobbying activities. They use the New Jersey mob to transport weapons, drugs, and spies into the country. Biden ignored all that but took their advice and met with the New Jersey mob years ago, setting up a deal where he’d shield them from what federal action he could in exchange for their squaring things away  for him.

    By: Will Tanner. Follow me on Twitter @Will_Tanner_1

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