NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Yesterday, Biden gave a speech on sending a few dozen tanks to the Ukraine over the next year in order to help it continue its fight against Russia. Beginning that speech, he said:
Yesterday marked 11 months since Russia’s brutal, full-scale invasion of Ukraine; 11 months in which the Ukrainian people have showed Putin and the world the full force of their courage and the indomitable determination to live free.
And through every single step of this horrific war, the American people have been strong and unwavering in their support.
And Democrats and Republicans in Congress have stood together. The United States has worked in lockstep with our Allies and partners around the world to make sure the Ukrainian people are in the strongest possible position to defend their nation, their families, and against the brutal — the truly brutal aggression of Russia. We haven’t seen the likes of this in a long time.
The United States and Europe are fully united.
This morning, I had a long conversation with our NATO Allies — German Chancellor Scholz, French President Macron, Prime Minister Sunak, and the Italian Prime Minister, Meloni — to continue our close coordination in our full support of Ukraine. Because you all know — I’ve been saying this a long time — the expectation on the part of Russia is we’re going to break up, we’re not going to stay united. But we are fully, thoroughly, totally united.
With spring approaching, the Ukrainian forces are working to defend the territory they hold and preparing for additional counter-offensives. To liberate their land, they need to be able to counter Russia’s evolving tactics and strategy on the battlefield in the very near term.
But then Biden abruptly stopped talking, which spooked his staff, as they knew nothing good would follow him going off script. Looking out over the audience, he glanced from person to person and saw that no one was interested. While “support Ukraine!” was the current thing about 6 months ago and got people excited, now no one cares other than a few policy hacks in DC that are funded by Burisma.
So, Biden wanted to get the audience excited, but didn’t know how. And that’s when his senility kicked into overdrive, as he had to think back about what he remembered exciting crowds during his presidency.
And that’s when he remembered seeing, on the TV, huge crowds of people at everything from concerts to football games chant “F*** Joe Biden”.
So he started doing that, having no idea what it meant or who Joe Biden is, but hoping it would get the crowd excited. Peter Doocy joined in, but the rest of the journalists at the press conference stood there shocked, confused what was going on and not wanting to fail the test.
At that point, Dr. Jill dragged him off before he embarrassed himself yet further.
By: Will Tanner. Follow me on Twitter @Will_Tanner_1