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Biden Gives Speech to Crowd of Homeless, Unemployed Americans Cheering New Jobs Report

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    President Slow Joe Biden just have a short speech about the current job environment. In the speech, he said:

    This is a good jobs report for hard-working Americans. Today’s report shows that we continue to face economic challenges from a position of strength, with the economy adding 236,000 jobs last month and the unemployment rate at 3.5%. My economic agenda has powered an historic economic recovery. We’ve created 12.6 million jobs since I took office. The unemployment rate is close to the lowest it has been in more than 50 years and a record low for African Americans. Thanks to the policies we have put in place, the recovery is creating good jobs that you can raise a family on, which is pulling more Americans into the labor force. In fact, the share of working age Americans in the labor force is at a 15 year high.

    But there is more work to do. My Administration is working each day to lower costs for families and to make our economy even stronger, now and for the long term, with investments in infrastructure, innovation, and clean energy. Just this week, because of my agenda, companies announced new manufacturing investments in Georgia, New Mexico, Michigan, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Wisconsin. My Investing in America agenda is building an economy that benefits hard-working Americans in every community across the country, not just those at the top.

    Extreme MAGA Republicans in Congress, on the other hand, are threatening to wreak havoc on our economy with debt limit brinkmanship. Their extreme agenda would send the unprecedented investments we’ve made here in America – along with the jobs that come with it – overseas. And it’s all to pay for even more giveaways to the wealthiest Americans and largest corporations. Make no mistake, I will stop those efforts to put our economy at risk and take us back to the failed policies of the past.

    All in all, not a terrible speech. At least he didn’t start ranting about Cornpop. However, the speech was made terrible by one important fact: it was given to a crowd of homeless people listening to Biden speak near a homeless shelter because they were, well, homeless and unemployed and had nothing else to really do.

    But, still, they were quite angry about the general situation. One, speaking to the Daily Caller shortly after the speech, said: “What’s wrong with that guy? Did he really just give a speech to people out of work because of his policies about how great the job market is? Acting like we’re not living on the streets and out of work because of him? What an ass. Slow Joe has got to go.”

    Biden, when asked about the location choice for the speech, said that he was there to “give them hope in a brighter future” and give the cook at the shelter “advice about how much peanut butter to mix in the oatmeal.”

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