NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
During a recent campaign speech about how wonderful his administration is doing, President Joe Biden accidentally admitted that they had flubbed the speech handout process and given Vice President Kamala Harris a speech to give on medical prices when she was supposed to be rambling about “faith” to “faith leaders” in South Carolina.
That admission was first snuck in the middle of his brief statement on what the cackle-prone Vice President is up to, with a reporter calling him out and Biden making things far worse with his response. Kicking things off, he said:
Today, in Orangeburg, South Carolina, Vice President Harris convened faith leaders and community leaders for a conversation about the Biden-Harris Administration’s historic efforts to ensure all communities, including Black communities, can live with dignity, safety, and have access to opportunity.
The Vice President and participating leaders discussed efforts to cut prescription costs, like capping insulin at $35 a month, which means Black seniors, who are 60% more likely to be diagnosed with diabetes, no longer have to choose between filling their prescriptions or refrigerators. They also discussed the Administration’s work to tackle student debt, make the criminal justice system more just, and reduce gun violence, including the President signing the Bipartisan Safter Communities Act—the first significant gun safety legislation in nearly 30 years. Additionally, they spoke about the importance of the Administration’s investments in Historically Black College and Universities (HBCUs), including those in South Carolina, and the Administration’s efforts to expand access to high-speed internet.
This was the Vice President’s 9th trip to the Palmetto State since becoming Vice President. Earlier this month, she visited Columbia, South Carolina, to deliver the keynote address at the South Carolina NAACP’s annual “King Day at the Dome,” and prior to that, she visited Myrtle Beach, South Carolina on January 6th to deliver the keynote address at the 7th Episcopal District AME Church Women’s Missionary Society annual retreat.
Then, as he paused and fumbled around with the cap of his water bottle, Biden, said, “And, well…” But then he was cut off by a reporter, who shouted out, “Wait, Mr. President, why the heck was Vice President Harris talking about prescription costs rather than faith when meeting with the faith leaders.”
Biden gave an impish smile and fired back, “Ha, ya caught me, Jack. Yeah, that wasn’t too smart, was it? Well, fact is, she’s a doofus. Yes, I said it…what everyone with half a brain, and heck, that includes me, knows: Kamala ain’t the sharpest bulb in the shed. Well, tool in the shed. You catch my drift. Anyway, anyway, she was handed the wrong speech and went with it! Didn’t even think about improvising, from what I can tell. Heck, not that we’d want her improvising anyway…but she just read the darn thing! Like she didn’t notice it was the wrong speech. What a joke, heck, Hunter’s crack dealer could be better!”
At that point, Biden was led off the stage by his ear before he could make any other damaging admissions.