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Biden Orders Gas Producers to Put Green Dye in Fuel to Make it “Green Energy”

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    The nonsense spewed by Team Biden is as dumb as ever right now, with Brandon giving a speech last night in which he told the crowd that he is demanding energy producers start pouring green dye in diesel fuel and gasoline to make it “green energy.”

    Though the White House later tried to play off the comment as a joke, Brandon said it with apparent seriousness, leading many to suspect that, whatever Team Biden lackies claim, Biden actually meant that he’s been haranguing executives at energy producers like BP, Exxon, and Chevron, demanding that they turn the fuel they sell green so that it counts as green energy.

    Specifically, Biden said: “Look, folks, green energy is a must. And when I say must I mean must, and not like the smell in your grandpa’s attic! I guess that would be my attic now…I’ll have to tell the Secret Service to check that out…

    “Anyway, anyway, we need to step up the fight against climate change by transitioning to green energy in whatever ways are possible. And so I’m doing exactly that: I told all those suits that make gas and such that they better turn it green! ‘Heck, Jack, just pour the green dye in so we can call it green energy,’ I said. That was when I was talking with–”

    It was then that Dr. Jill cut him off, walking up on stage and leading him away with an apple as a hack within Biden’s entourage said that the “President isn’t feeling well and needs a break”. Many took that attempt to cut him off as evidence that Biden really had told energy producers to pour green dye in their fuel supplies to make it look green.

    Biden then got back up on stage and said that he was “only joking” and that he “know[s] green power is the windmill thingies and those blue panels they put in the sun.”

    He did add, however, that he “wasn’t sure about nuclear power” because “it seems clean but there’s all that stuff coming out the top.”

    That “stuff,” for reference, is just condensation from the water used in the process. Nuclear energy is one of the cleanest, most reliable, and cheapest sources of energy out there.

    Yet the greens hate it, presumably because it’s a real solution to the alleged climate problem rather than just some tool with which they can hammer us and demand we “sacrifice” everything to the cause of fighting off the angry sun monster, or whatever it is that Democrats want to happen.

    Exxon, for its part, promised consumers that it would not be pouring coloring agents into their gasoline, something that could destroy engines.

    By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of Follow me on Facebook and Subscribe to My Email List

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