NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
President Biden just channeled his inner George W. Bush and gave a “mission accomplished” speech on the inflation fight, a battle very much not won, saying:
Today’s report shows continued progress in our fight against inflation with the 12-month inflation rate at the lowest level since May 2021. This progress follows last week’s news that our job market remains historically strong. Inflation has now fallen by 45% from its summer peak. Gas prices are down more than $1.40 from the summer, and grocery prices fell in the month of March for the first time since September 2020. In recent months, we have also seen price declines for items like used cars, smart phones, and other electronics. While inflation is still too high, this progress means more breathing room for hard-working Americans – with wages now higher than they were 9 months ago, after accounting for inflation.
My administration is continuing to fight to lower costs for families. That includes historic action to lower prescription drug costs for seniors, capping insulin at $35, and allowing Medicare to negotiate lower prices. My Investing in America agenda is bringing good jobs to communities throughout the country, and building a stronger and more dynamic economy for the long haul. We should build on that progress with policies to grow our economy, lower costs, create jobs, and reduce the deficit. And we must reject reckless proposals from Congressional Republicans to take our economy hostage in order to cut taxes for the wealthy and large corporations, and bring back failed trickle down policies that would ship jobs overseas and gut programs that are lowering costs for seniors, middle-class families, and hard-working Americans.
While not a great speech to begin with, it was one made even worse by the circumstances surrounding it: Biden, to give the speech, traveled to a homeless shelter. He said he was there to “give hope to the hopeless,” but really he just looked incompetent and out of touch, declaring economic victory when speaking to those put out of work and tossed out of their homes thanks to his policies.
Biden was widely booed and jeered at by those listening, though he had no real idea what was going on and his advisors told him he was being “cheered wildly” by an “enthusiastic audience.” He took that at face value and waved happily while walking away.
Speaking to a local reporter after the incident, one resident of the homeless shelter said, “What an a**. We thought he was here to help, or at least make a food donation or whatever. That would have been nice. But no. Instead of that, we get an idiotic speech about how things are great and America is a land of milk and honey thanks to him, then he walks away while smiling like an idiot. Who’s in charge of this joker, is he just rubbing it in now?”