NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
The Biden Administration, hilariously but infuriatingly, appears to have charged those who showed up to listen to his recent speech on junk fees a junk fee to listen to the speech. In it, he said, in part:
In my State of the Union Address, I outlined our fight against junk fees — to end junk fees: these hidden charges that companies sneak into your bill to make you pay more and without you really knowing it initially. Junk fees are not a matter for the wealthy very much, but they’re a matter for working folks, like the homes I grew up in. And they can add hundreds of dollars a month and make it harder for families to pay their bills. I think it’s just wrong.
My administration has also taken a number of steps to crack down on junk fees by reducing overdrafts by $5.5 billion a year and bounced checks cost by another $2 billion a year. That’s real money.And we’re seeking to require airlines to refund money and give you additional compensation, like cash or travel vouchers, if your flight is canceled or delayed.These actions matter, and it’s inspiring companies to change their practices.
Today I’m pleased to announce there is even more progress. One of the major categories of junk fees are ones that companies charge right at the end of the purchasing process, after you’ve already spent the time comparing your options. The solution is — the — the solution is what is called “all-in pricing.” And that’s where companies fully disclose their fees upfront when you start shopping so you’re not surprised at the end when you check out.
It was around that point when those who showed up started getting notifications from their credit card companies that they had been charged $5.99 from Indonesia-based BIDEN TICKET SOFTWARE, LLC for a “TICKETING EXPENSE 6/15/2023.” Furious, many among the crowd of speechgoers tried disputing the charge but were unsuccessful, as they had technically given their permission to be billed.
Apparently, Biden has requested that speechgoers “buy” free tickets online by inputting their credit card information, which the website claimed was to stop bots from getting tickets and then either reselling them for a profit or just scooping them up so that no one would show up to the speech and embarrass the president.
However, hidden in the fine text was that those who entered their information have BIDEN TICKET SOFTWARE, LLC, a company owned by Hunter Biden and a business partner, permission to charge a “small processing fee.” It added that they could send in a rebate request by mail to Indonesia, but doing so costs ~$7, so it’s cheaper to just accept the charge, which almost all of them did. Biden claimed the charges were “necessary business charges” and “not junk fees.”