NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
President Biden recently took Air Force One to Israel for a two-day meeting with the Israeli Prime Minister and various photo ops with Holocaust survivors, memorials, and the like so that he has pictures with which he can prove his pro-Israel credentials to AIPAC and attack the right as being “Nazis” or “fascists”.
While that aspect of the trip went well (other than the gaffe where he said that we need to honor the Holocaust) and he got lots of pictures to use in campaign materials, things got awkward when it was time crank up Air Force One and fly back home: filling it up was too expensive, even for the US government, so it was stuck on the landing strip.
An anonymous insider who was there to watch what happened told us:
“Yeah, so the motorcade roles up on up to Air Force One and everyone marches up the ramp, crossing their fingers and praying that Biden wouldn’t fall down or whatever. Predictably, he took a tumble about halfway up and toppled over. Classic Joe.
“Anyway, anyway, they all get inside and the ramp is folded up, only for them to not go anywhere. The plane just sat there, engines off, for what must have been fifteen minutes. Finally, Joe must have noticed that something was up, because the radios started coming alive with people asking what was going on.
“After much confusion, lots of yelling, and a series of tanks and armored columns showing up to guard the place as people freaked out about a possible security threat, we finally figured out what was going on: the gas price crisis had made it just too expensive to fill up the plane, even for the US government, so they had to just not fill it up and hope gas prices fall.”
“So then the problem became figuring out how to get Biden home. Our first idea was to just put him on a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier and send him back, as those use reactors and so aren’t dependent on gas prices.
“But then the greens got in the way and argued that his doing so would send the message that nuclear power is clean and safe, and thus should be considered a viable alternative to both fossil fuels and “renewables” like wind and solar power.
“So, finally, after lots of yelling, they found some 19th-century clipper ship that relies on wind power and shipped him home in that. It’s gonna take months, but it’s not like he does much anyway, so all should be fine. Meanwhile, we’re begging the Saudis to start pumping more oil so that we can afford to fill up the plane and fly home.”