NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
American citizens are severely struggling economically. So, what’s President Joe Biden up to? He’s rambling to them, even in his speeches on Bidenomics and how he plans to help them, not on how he plans to effect an economic turnaround in America, but instead on how he plans to send yet more of their tax dollars to the Ukraine and Israel. In a recent Bidenomics speech, for example, he said:
Today, thanks to concerted American leadership, we’re in a situation where safe passage for wounded Palestinians and foreign nationals to exit Gaza has started. American citizens were able to exit today as part of the first group of probably over a thousand. We’ll see more of this process going on in the coming days. We’re working nonstop to get Americans out of Gaza as soon and as safely as possible. This is the result of intense and urgent American diplomacy with our partners in the region.
I personally spent a lot of time speaking with the Prime Minister, Netanyahu, of Israel and President Sisi of Egypt and others to make sure that we could open this access for people to get out. I want to thank our partners in the region and particularly Qatar, who have worked so closely with us to support negotiations to fa- — to facilitate the departure of these citizens. At the same time, we’re continuing working to significantly step up the flow of critical humanitarian assistance into Gaza. The number of trucks entering Gaza continues to increase significantly, but we still have a long way to go.
The United States is going to continue to drive humanitarian support for innocent people in Gaza who need help. And they do need help. We’re going to continue to affirm that Israel has the right to re- — and responsibility to defend its citizens from terror, and it needs to do so in a manner, though, that’s consistent with international and humanitarian law that prioritizes the protection of citizens. We’ve all seen the devastating images from Gaza: Palestinian children crying out for lost parents, parents reasoning and writing their children’s names on their hands and legs to be identified if the worst happens.
Continuing, he added, “Look folks, Bidenomics is all about helping people. And who do we need to help? Heck, Jack, I’ll tell ya. It ain’t Americans. Americans are rich, safe, and comfortable. Heck, Netflix is cheap! Mcdonald’s ain’t that expensive! Things are fine, things are great. So we don’t need to help Americans. We ain’t spending tax dollars here, that’s for sure. No siree.”
“Nope, that’s not what Bidenomics means. Not natiionalist…uhh…it’s not um nationalist, I mean. Like I said, it’s about helping those who need it. So right now, that means Bidenomics means foreign aid. So that’s what we’re gonna do. More money to Israel, more money to Ukraine, less money to spend here at home. And that’ a fact, Jack.”