NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
It’s another day that ends in y and so the deranged leftists are doing something more ridiculous than what even they were proposing last week, this time trying to crack down on hunters in blue states by pretending there is such a thing as “gender neutral deer” before deer season begins.
That idea, apparently developed by Admiral Rachel Levine, the transgender admiral, and Mayor Pete Buttigieg, who has finally gotten over his nasty case of monkeypox, was pushed on the states in exchange for billions more in Planned Parenthood funding. Only the blue states took them up on the offer.
Though red states ignored the ridiculous idea, in blue states it has become a major problem for hunters, who just want to live their lives and get a few days of hunting in once deer season begins, but now have to attend 12 2-hour long seminars on “trans game rights,” “gender neutral animals and when they can be shot,” and “how to avoid being transphobic when hunting.”
Apparently, the classes revolve around the idea that deer and other game animals can and do choose their gender in the same way that upper middle class white liberals in America do, and thus that all the rules regarding shooting bucks and does, male and female birds, or other gender-specific game tags or bag limits.
And so hunters in those states have been taught how to distinguish “trans” game animals from “traditionally gendered” game animals in hunting scenarios, with the basic idea boiling down to the hunters having to ask the animals what gender they identify as, whatever their outward appearance might be (ex: antlers on a whitetail buck) before shooting. Failure to do so and getting caught means that they can and likely will be charged both with a “sexual harassment” charge and will lose their hunting license permanently.
How the hunters are supposed to ask is unclear, as animals don’t speak English. Those teaching the course were unclear on that point, but demanded that hunters “find a way to stop being transphobes while hunting.”
What makes the situation all the more ridiculous is that now, instead of camo, hunters are required to wear the white, blue, and pink of the transgender flag to show animals that they support trans animal rights. That’s a particular problem for deer hunters, as blue is one of the few colors that deer can see and it scares them off.
Hunters in purple and pink states are worried that their soft on crime governors or state legislatures will advance similar requirements.