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BREAKING: Abbott Arrests Fauci after Explosive Lab Leak Findings

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    An explosive report was just published in the Wall Street Journal. In it, the WSJ exposes what “conspiracy theorists” (read: intelligent adults) were saying about two years ago. Of course, that ” conspiracy theory is that Covid is not natural but originated in China…at a lab that Fauci funded through the EcoHealth Alliance.

    Fauci predictably rushed to defend the Red Chinese, as our friends at Trending Politics News reported, saying:

    Fauci is confident that increased transparency would reveal that the virus arose from natural transmission rather than from a lab leak in Wuhan.

    “The problem is that they’ve attacked the Chinese so badly,” Fauci said. “The Chinese authorities act suspicious, even when they have nothing to hide.”

    Fauci, who served as the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and as President Biden’s chief medical adviser, retired at the end of 2022. However, he has not slowed down, as he is still in high demand for speeches and opinion pieces.

    Republican Senators chimed in as well. Senator Sullivan, for example, told NBC’s Chuck Todd “I think we need to do extensive hearings. I hope our Democratic colleagues in the Congress can support that. I know the Republicans in the House are certainly supportive of that. Look, this is a country that has no problem coming out and lying to the world. We just saw that with this Chinese spy balloon. It’s the nature of a Communist dictatorship to lie to their own people, to lie to the world. But I think that we need to make sure every country knows that and then look at what the consequences could be.

    But this time Republicans didn’t limit themselves to writing letters and holding pointless hearings that achieve nothing of note. Instead, they went all in on holding Fauci accountable.

    Specifically, Governor Abbott of Texas, aided by Govs. Glenn Youngkin of Virginia, Ron DeSantis of Florida, and Brian Kemp of Georgia, sent law enforcement officials and state guardsmen to arrest Dr. Fauci. Fauci was in Texas for a speaking event and was surrounded by the Florida, Texas, and Georgia troops and policemen as helicopters and jets from the Old Dominion kept eagle eyes on him.

    Fauci was then trundled out of the hotel in which he was speaking by 10 heavily armed ex-special forces troopers who volunteered to be the tip of the spear in the raid and tossed in the back of a police van. He has since been moved to an undisclosed holding location by the Texas authorities. Neither they nor the states aiding them have demobilized and other states in the South and Midwest have begun raising troops to aid Texas in the anti-Fauci fight.

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