NOTE: This is satire, not fact. Treat it as such
Following a White House staffer dressed as an Easter bunny’s success in stopping Joe from talking about Afghanistan during the White House Easter Egg roll event, former President Trump realized how effective he could be if dressed up as an imaginary rabbit in taking over the US government.
So, dressed as the Easter Bunny, Trump headed to the White House on Wednesday, 4/20, and was shocked to discover that no one even tried to stop him, but instead just waved him through the security gate, laughing at the idea that he was still wearing the costume that had obviously been so scary to Slow Joe during the Easter egg event.
It was then that Trump launched his coup: walking into the White House, again without anyone trying to stop him, he made it all the way to the Oval Office, from which Biden fled in terror upon seeing the bunny walk into the room, and sat down behind his desk once again. He then logged into his Truth Social account and Barron Trump’s Twitter account and started posting furiously:
“Sorry/not sorry, losers and haters, guess who’s back behind the Resolute desk?! The bad orange man, and I’m coming for you!”
“Hey Jeb! guess who’s president twice before you were once…both me and your brother! I bet someone’s jealous…”
“Horse face never saw this coming!”
“Vladimir has been very mean to America lately! I will fix it!”
“@allthosewhodon’t like me: now I have the nuclear button. It’s very big and works very well, just like something else!”
Following the tweet spree, Trump prepared to defend his fortified position within the Oval Office but was shocked to discover that no one tried to remove him. Turns out, the Secret Service agents were sick of having to watch Biden swim around naked in the pool and even more disturbed by having to hear Kamala’s echoing cackle, sided with Trump and kicked Biden out of the White House while “Dr.” Jill protested how they were being treated.
Psaki said that she’d “circle back” to the coup when asked, but preferred to focus on the struggles of pregnant trans children in Florida. The press corps cheered wildly when Kayleigh McEnany arrived dressed as Santa and booted her from the White House like Biden had been booted hours beforehand.
Biden, asked by Brian Stelter for a statement after the coup, said “Why would I talk to Mr. Potatohead right now? I was just kicked out of the nap building by the Easter Bunny, Jack. This is serious business!” He then fell asleep and “Dr.” Jill said it had been an exciting enough day for him.
Trump, ending the exciting day with a strongly worded tweet about his plans, said “Everyone said I wouldn’t make it back to this beautiful building, especially losers in the legislature. Lookin at you, Liz! Well I’m back and it’s time to get to business. We’re gonna make America great again by making prices low again and making the world peaceful again. Just you watch!“