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BREAKING: Nordstream Pipeline Had Dirt on Hillary Clinton, Was To Testify Against Her

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    In yet another apparent instance of the Clinton kill team doing what needs to be done to protect Killary from oversight or nosy reporters prying into what she and bill might have been up to, it seems that it was not a Navy SEAL team that blew up the Nord Stream pipelines off the coast of Denmark, but rather 4 mercenaries employed by the Clinton Foundation.

    News on that came from Infowars host Alex Jones, who wore an LBT 6094 plate carrier with Level IV plates and a Level III+ helmet during his broadcast “in case the Clinton goons” came for him. Speaking on what he had discovered, Jones said:

    Now, listen up, folks, because this is critical to figuring out what is really going on. Most people are speculating that it was either a US or combined Polish and US force that blew up the Nord Stream pipelines on Tuesday. While an understandable and unfortunately realistic theory, as it would push the Europeans into having no reason to negotiate with Putin to end the Ukraine conflict, that doesn’t appear to be what happen.

    “Nope. This one has Clinton fingerprints all over it. According to our source, and this is a top level guy. Really important. Well, according to him, this was the Clinton kill team’s amphibious unit. He tracked their jet, a Gulfstream 550, to Gdansk, and they then apparently rented a boat from a known German intelligence unit and sailed on out to about 3 kilometers away from where the explosion occured. This is all on radar, we have it recorded.

    “From there, they must have swum to the pipeline and placed the explosives, setting a timer so that they’d explode when that US battlegroup with an amphibious assault unit was nearby to make it look like the US military did it.

    “And why would they do that? The pipeline was to testify on the Clinton Foundation’s suspicious activities in Haiti. Lots of Epstein like stuff if you know what I mean. Nasty people. Just horrible.

    “And, frankly, what this source told me makes sense. If it had been the Navy SQUEELS, as I like to call them, we would have known immediately. Remember how soon it was after the bin Laden raid that some guy was coming out saying “I did it” and everyone suddenly found out about SEAL Team 6? Yeah, those guys can’t keep a secret to save their lives. Literally. So we would know if they were involved in this, they’d be messaging Ukrainian girls about it trying to get laid, no shame in that, or appearing on CNN to talk about it and try to get a book deal set up. That’s just how they roll.

    “But this has been super secretive. So definitely it was a Clinton kill team, not the Navy SQUEELs.”

    By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of Follow me on Facebook and Subscribe to My Email List

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