NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
How are things going for RINO Liz Cheney and her “brother from another mother,” Trump-hating CNN personality and possible potato-human hybrid Brian Stelter?
Not too great. Liz, as everyone who’s not living under a very, very, very thick rock has known would happen for quite a while now, just got blown out of the water, losing her primary race against Trump-backed Republican challenger Harriet Hageman in what was, despite its inevitability, a massive humiliation to the supposed Republican from Wyoming.
As Liz Cheney watches her political career collapse into something approaching a pile of dust but with even less dignity than said dust pile, Brian Stelter isn’t doing too hot either. He just got fired from CNN, which apparently realized that he’s just awful and no one, not even Democrats, like listening to him one little bit. So that’s hilarious.
But not all is going badly for the two malcontents. Liz and Brian are united in one thing besides their annoying, nasal voices: their hatred of former President Donald Trump, or the “bad orange man” as he’s known around both of their houses.
And so the duo have decided to team up to defeat the bad orange man that has done so many bad orange things that he is, at this point “literally Hitler” and has made them clutch their pearls more times than Biden has sniffed little girls.
The podcast, which will be aired by The Bulwark, aims to expose all of Trump’s “crimes” against the nation, with a leak within their new office claiming that the entire first season (95 tri-weekly episodes) will cover mean things that Trump has said to people online. The show will supposedly be called “If Hitler was an Orange” and the first season of the podcast will be called “Hitler with a Smartphone.”
Frankly, both the name of the program and the supposed content- all of the greatest insults that Trump fired off before Dorsey and the other hacks at the cursed bird app gave him the boot- sound pretty entertaining, though not in the way that Liz and Brian both probably intended.
In any case, we won’t find out until next February, at which point Liz will finally be out of office and replaced by Harriet Hageman, at least assuming former VP Cheney’s “friends” from his warmonger days don’t get to Ms. Hageman first.
The show is scheduled to premiere 22 days after Liz leaves office, giving both her and Brian all the time necessary to cry their eyes out and lose the weight gained from stress eating before starting the project.