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Cackling Kamala Declares “The Best Pregnancy Is an Abortion” During “Reproductive Rights” Speech

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    In yet another major misstep, the Biden White House decided to let Cackling Kamala Harris speak on a hot-button political issue, a decision that ended in disaster when she ended up proclaiming that “the best pregnancy is an abortion,” infuriating the conservative base and those Christians that still vote Democrat. Beginning her speech, she said:

    So, we meet yet again, we convene yet again to discuss the work that our administration has done and will continue to do to stand for the rights of all individuals to make decisions about their own bodies and their lives, and the importance of maintaining the integrity of systems that have been proven to work in the best interests and the health and wellbeing of the American people. And by that, I mean the FDA, in particular, as it relates to the most recent court case.

    So, since we were last together, many of us have been traveling the country. I’ll speak for myself, I’ve now, I believe, met with at least 18 different states’ legislatures and thousands of people to talk about the experiences that they’ve had after the Dobbs decision.

    And sadly, it is what we anticipated it would be. We are having an experience where the women of America in particular have been in a state of fear about what this means for them, what this means for the people they love.

    We are looking at a situation in our country where healthcare providers — most of whom have had a calling to do the good and important work of taking care of other people — are in fear of losing their licenses and, worse, even being prosecuted and criminalized for the work that they do that is about providing healthcare for people in our country.

    That then went off the rails as Kamala got on a roll, next saying:

    “And look, look: a lot of people act like abortions are a bad thing because the parasitic fetus is never born? What?! How does that make any sense. No way. In this administration, in this party, we understand that women need to be free from the constraints imposed on them by sexist anti-abortion laws. In this White House, we know that the best pregnancy is an abortion.”

    A few members of the crowd cheered, mainly the blue-haired ones. The rest stood in shock, wondering if the Vice President actually said that.

    VP Harris, confused why the majority of the crowd was standing stock-still rather than wildly cheering, then tried repeating the line. That sent the blue-hairs into overdrive, but the rest of the crowd started leaving or hissing, as they were shocked and horrified by what she said.

    Harris, confused, then started cackling uncontrollably and wandered off the stage while awkwardly waving. A staff member of hers then walked out on stage and said that the VP “had to leave early” because she was “urgently required to fight racism and sexism elsewhere.”

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