NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
The President is a senile fool and so little of note can be expected from him. Even so, it was a particularly bad moment for him when, giving a speech to union members on American manufacturing, he ended up rambling about how great the communist Chinese are at manufacturing. Beginning, he said:
Manufacturing is the backbone of our economy, but for the past few decades, we have not always treated it that way. We were told that trickle-down economics was the only way forward ‑- cutting taxes for the wealthy and big corporations; slashing public investment in priorities like education, infrastructure, and health care; and letting American manufacturing jobs be shipped overseas. As a result, economic inequality only grew. And with every manufacturing town that was hollowed out, communities lost not just jobs but also pride and self-worth.
I ran for President to change that — to grow our economy from the middle out and bottom up, not the top down, moving from trickle-down economics to what some in the press are calling “Bidenomics.” Our plan is working. We have seen over 13 million new jobs created, including 800,000 manufacturing jobs. Unemployment has been below 4 percent for the longest stretch in over 50 years. And our inflation rate is among the lowest across the world’s major economies. It is simple: Bidenomics means we are growing our economy by strengthening the middle class and making things in America again.
As a result, companies are reinvesting in America, building factories that will power our economy for years to come. Since I took office, we have attracted over $500 billion in private investment to American manufacturing and the industries of the future. Real spending on factory construction doubled in the last 2 years, and hit a record high in August, after falling under my predecessor ‑- and so far this year, it has contributed more to gross domestic product growth than any 6 months on record. Instead of exporting American jobs, we are creating American jobs and exporting American products again.
That’s when things went off course. Biden, stumbling through his words and forgetting where he was, said, “Look, we’re exporting American jobs too, Jack. Where? Heck, China. We pay people too much here. Gotta fund their retirement accounts or whatever, which is ridiculous. What a waste, Jack, what a waste. Not any more! No sir. Nah, we’re gonna make sure that, here in America, we uhhh…well…uhh…Um, well we’re shipping those jobs to China.”
“Look, Jack, people get annoyed with that or whatever. They say we shouldn’t do it. Maybe we should put the jobs in Ohio or wherever, they say. Well, look. Why would I do that? Why? Tell me, why? The Chinese were nice to Hunter. Chinese manufacturing helped Hunter, gave him a lot of cash. A whole lot. Real nice fellas. And that’s the truth. Ohio? Union fellers? Not so much. They voted for the orange man! So screw ’em! Their jobs are going to China!”