Joe Biden and the Democratic Party have officially clarified their stance on the term “bloodbath.” Once considered a universally negative term, especially after Trump used it during his recent rally, it has now been deemed acceptable, but with a crucial caveat: it’s perfectly fine as long as it’s referring to political violence against Donald Trump.
The clarification came during a press conference held by a highly enthusiastic spokesperson for the Democratic National Committee. Surrounded by banners emblazoned with peace signs and recycling logos, the spokesperson passionately declared, “When we say ‘bloodbath,’ we’re not advocating for violence, per se. We’re just saying if it were to happen in a metaphorical, and entirely hypothetical scenario where it’s directed at Trump, we might, possibly, under certain circumstances, be okay with it.”
The crowd, a mix of journalists and three people who accidentally wandered in thinking it was a vegan bake sale, listened in a mixture of horror and confusion as the spokesperson continued to outline the party’s new position. “Look, it’s all about context,” they explained, gesticulating wildly with a biodegradable water bottle. “Violence is never the answer, unless it’s rhetorically or metaphorically against those we vehemently disagree with, and then it’s open for interpretation.”
In response to the backlash, the spokesperson issued a follow-up statement, which was promptly posted on the party’s official Twitter account: “To clarify, when we said ‘bloodbath,’ we meant a really intense debate, where the only thing that’s hurt is Trump’s feelings. And maybe his ego. But that’s it….Promise,” they tweeted with a “winky” face.