NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Things got more than a tad awkward when, during a recent meeting…in the Oval Office, Biden asked if he’d be taken to India when he looked up and saw that the United Kingdom’s Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, is Indian instead of Anglo-Saxon. The dubious merits of that aside, it was an awkward moment for Biden given his party’s reliance on woke race politics. It happened toward the beginning of the speech, when Biden was staring intently at the teleprompter instead of at the Prime Minister, then sneezed and saw he was talking to an Indian man. He began by saying:
Mr. Prime Minister, it’s great to have you back. And, you know, in the past few months, we’ve met each other in San Diego and then we met in Belfast, and we met Hiroshima and now we’re here. And we’re going to solve all the problems in the world right in this next 20 minutes.
But, you know, Prime Minister Churchill and Roosevelt met here a little over 70 years ago, and they asserted that the strength of the partnership between Great Britain and the United States was the strength of the free world. I still think there’s truth to that assertion.
And together, we’re providing economic and humanitarian aid and security assistance to Ukraine in their fight against a brutal invasion of the Russians. And we’ve worked out an arrangement with AUKUS, with Australia, to make the Indian Ocean and that whole area safer and more secure. And — and, you know, we’re building on the Good Friday Agreement — 25 years — and keep that going. We can talk about that a little bit—-
Then came the sneeze. It was loud, messy, and Biden caught a glimpse, finally, of who was standing next to him. “Whoa!” Biden shouted. “What the heck? What are you doing here? Did we fly to India by mistake? The plane was supposed to land near the nice palace, not that restaurant with the undercooked goat! Got it?”
Sunak did not get it, but was obviously annoyed with the whole thing. “Excuse me, Mr President?” Sunak asked. “I am the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Yes, I am Indian by ancestry, but I am as English as Churchill himself by citizenship status! So perhaps we could move on to the discussion of NATO and the importance of standing up to the Russians?”
“Don’t get uppity,” Biden snapped. “I don’t wanna have to treat you like Cornpop, but I will if you keep that lip goin’! Got it, Jack?! So you better back off, and that’s a fact. So keep it quiet or—”
Biden was then led off stage by Dr. Jill while KJP appeared on stage to say that Biden had been “given the wrong meds by an enemy of the revolution” and would be feeling better shortly.