NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
In what is now a constant cycle for the GOP, hopes of winning minorities over to the party were largely smashed during midterms, with the “we’re gonna win so many Hispanic and black votes because Democrats are the real racists” people being proven wrong…again…as they have been in like every normal election.
Most in the more conservative, right-wing side of the party saw this coming. Ben Rogers, a frequent reader and GOP pundit from Montana, said:
“Yeah, I mean it’s just ridiculous. It’s white people that like and vote for the GOP. And yes, some people counted as Hispanic do as well and we welcome them to the party. But if you look at a more detailed breakdown, what you find is that the thirty-odd percent of Hispanics that vote for the GOP tend to be the thirty percent or so that consider themselves white rather than Hispanic.
“So like, we do well with heritage Americans and those that think of themselves as such. Fortunately that’s still a majority of people, so we can win. But once you start getting into the people who think of themselves as “black,” “Hispanic”, or whatever rather than “American,” support for the GOP drops to almost zero. In some groups it’s literally zero.
“So the GOP needs to cut the shit and focus on the values of those that support it. Stop all the inner city outreach, “we support Hispanics” nonsense, and the rest of the diversity is our strength crap. It just doesn’t work. We get votes from people who love America and want America to remain America, not a bunch of people who identify as their ethnic heritage rather than Americans that couldn’t care less about America’s history or traditional culture.”
Sage advice, but unfortunately it wasn’t well taken by Mitch McConnell and Mitt Romney. Those two RINO hacks appeared for a press conference in which they went on a long speech about how they “abhor nativism and racism” and “know that anyone from anywhere can be an American.” They then went on to declare that the GOP has learned that it “wasn’t anti-racist enough in 2022” and is excited to “start promoting the ‘George Floyd Memorial Plan’ for taking a lesson from Lincoln and fighting against racism in America.”
Polling support for the GOP dropped dramatically after that announcement, with many traditional GOP voters saying that they were sick and tired of voting for soft on crime, spaghetti-spined politicians that would rather win the applause of Jesse Jackson than stand up for those terrorized by constant crime, rampant drug use and abuse, and the decay that comes with allowing crime and America-haters spread and American culture rot.