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FBI Caught Teaching China, North Korea, How to Frame Dissidents for Crimes

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satirical, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    Team Biden’s DOJ and FBI both faced yet another embarrassment on Monday when the FBI was caught, thanks to a whistleblower that outed the agency to Revolver News, aiding the Red Chinese and North Koreans in setting up political dissidents for crimes.

    Apparently, and this is based on the details given Darren Beattie and Revolver by the whistleblower, the FBI was directed by Biden to talk to China about “State Security” and “preserving order.”

    Director Wray wasn’t opposed to cracking down on conservative Americans and other dissidents, as we have seen over the past few years, but was wary of taking directions from the Chinese because he saw them and their tacts as being too heavy handed for use in America, for now at least. Being well-armed does still help you push off the worst tyrannies, after all.

    In any case, Wray was confused when, on a trip to Beijing, he learned that it wasn’t that the Chinese were supposed to teach him how to act like a tyrant, but him and his agents who were supposed to do the teaching.

    He apparently asked what he, a mere cop from a liberal democracy, could teach them. Upon hearing that, the grizzled Chinese Ministry of State Security tyrants started laughing hysterically and all pulled up pictures of January 6th, Gretchen Whitmer, or Waco, TX on their phones.

    Haha, Director Wray, good one!” Weng Xhiau, a top MSS interrogator, was heard saying. Continuing, Weng said “But you can’t fool us with your humble talk! You and your boys are the best at what you do! Or should I say you and your gender-ambiguous false-flag creators? Haha.”

    Wray, a bit annoyed that they found out that the Whitmer thing and January 6th were both FBI ops, or at least mostly instigated by the FBI, finally broke down and went along with it, agreeing to help them.

    Noting that they didn’t help or instruction regarding massacring dissidents like the FBI and ATF did to the Branch Davidians at Waco or the Red Chinese did to dissidents at Tiananmen Square, Wray suggested they move on to the tougher task: false flags.

    Upon their agreement, he showed them the FBI manual on that sort of counter-dissident activity, advice with which they were well-pleased and which they found quite helpful. Furiously taking notes, they thanked him for his time and wired the millions to Hunter, and then ushered in the North Koreans, who also wanted help from the FBI with cracking down on dissidents.

    Knowing that what he was doing was probably wrong, but starved for attention and compliments ever since his bored and frustrated wife left him for “Jerome”, Wray went along with the whole thing and helped out the North Koreans too, giving them so much good advice that he later received a handwritten thank you note from Kim Jong Un.

    It also included a finger, which later turned out to be Jerome’s, so apparently the Norks had a few things about terror they could teach Mr. FBI too.

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