Note: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
First Lady Jill Biden, or “Dr.” Biden, as she insists on being called, was recently giving a speech in DC on the bizarrely specific topic of female construction workers in Arizona, and during the speech decided to start going on a long rant about why she should be called “Dr.” rather than “Mrs.” for her education degree. Beginning, she said:
Last year, I met a young woman named Lilly in Arizona. When she graduated high school, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to pursue. And, as one of six siblings, she didn’t want her parents to go into debt for her to go to college. She got a job, but it didn’t pay well and she couldn’t see a future for herself. Looking for a way to unstick her life, she reached out to the Vice Principal at her old high school. That administrator helped Lilly apply to a free community college program.
And there, after a little exploring, she found a career in construction management. In her area of Arizona, with the help of President Biden’s investments, construction is booming. Semiconductor factories are expanding, biomanufacturing facilities are being built, battery plants are going up, and businesses are looking to hire tens of thousands of skilled workers.
Lilly graduated from community college a few weeks ago, and is ready to continue in construction. But Lilly almost didn’t get on this path. And a growing industry almost missed out on her talent. There are countless high school students like her across the country – who are smart, ambitious, and hardworking, but who just need guidance, who just need a program to show them the career paths available.
That’s when a reporter shouted out, “Mrs. Biden, are you suggesting that heavy industry and construction would be better served by female community college graduates? Wouldn’t their skills be put to better use in administrative roles, or other roles where their advanced educations would be more of a benefit and their, on average, lack of muscle mass compared to men be less of an issue?”
Dr. Jill declined to address the human capital question and explain why it would be better to have young women like Lilly carrying around roofing shingle rather than doing anything for which her talents would be better suited. She did, however, address being called “Mrs. Biden.”
Firing back at the inquisitive reporter, she said, “Now listen here, young man. You should refer to me as ‘Dr. Biden.’ I am a very serious person with a very advanced degree and I demand to be treated as such. So you better start acting like it and calling me by the right title, or else you’ll be thrown out of places like here for sexism and never allowed to return. And I’m serious about that.”
Glaring, Dr. Jill then stomped off the stage without finishing her speech, much to the relief of the audience.