Skip to content

Following Disastrous “Gaystronaut” Movie, Disney Executives Shocked to Discover Americans Don’t Want Gay Sex Scenes in Pixar Movies

    gaydisney small
    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    Doubling down on the “insert gay stuff into every single possible piece of content” strategy following the dismal release of Lightyear, the complete collapse of the Star Wars franchise, and halving of their stock price in the past year, Disney decided to release a new, even gayer Pixar movie called “Gaystronaut” that follows the travels of a much-misunderstood homosexual astronaut through space in a rainbow-colored spaceship.

    Beyond the general premise, what most angered the general public was that what was ostensibly a kid’s movie contained numerous, graphic homosexual sex scenes in the movie. In fact, the pornographic, sometimes violent scenes took up twenty minutes of airtime in what was only a ninety-minute movie.

    Disney, defending the decision to include the scenes despite parental outrage, issued a statement on the inclusion of the scenes, saying:

    “While we understand that the inclusion of non-traditional sexual partners, orgies, and non-traditional sexual acts might make some less-enlightened parents uncomfortable, particularly around young children, we felt the inclusion of the scenes was highly important.

    “That’s not only because of what they added to the film’s plot, which was lots, but because they teach children the important lesson that literally anything is okay, no matter how many other people call it degenerate or wrong, so long as you defend what you’ve done by saying that it’s a core part of your identity and that they’re being ‘offensive’ if they criticize you.”

    Disney went on to add that “really it’s offensive that people are offended, as the film realistically and faithfully portrays the lives of certain gay men, which is osmething that kids should be introduced to so that they understand it’s not just okay, but normal.”

    Following the release of the film, which Disney somehow convinced the ratings people to rate “PG”, Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida ordered his state’s top prosecutors to charge Disney on the grounds that it was involved in showing pornography to minors, with law enforcement sent out to stop any theaters from showing the film, an act that nine other red state governors quickly imitated.

    Not to be outdone on the eve of his widely expected 2024 presidential announcement, President Trump also waded into the controversy, promising to “not only punish Disney financially for showing such horrific content to children”, but to instruct the FBI to take “immediate criminal action against Disney as a creator and pusher of porn on children” and also pledged to address rumors of its involvement with pedo financier Jeffrey Epstein.

    Disney called Trump and DeSantis both “homophobes”, but quickly took action to halt the release of the film and stopped allowing it to be streamed on Disney+, evidently worried by the reaction of consumers, who canceled their Disney accounts in droves following the film’s release, with the phrase “cut the cord on child porn” trending on Twitter throughout the controversy.

    By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of GenZConservative.com. Follow me on Facebook and Subscribe to My Email List

    Will you vote for Trump in 2024?(Required)
    This poll gives you free access to our premium politics newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
    This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.