NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Following the release of Senator Cornyn’s (R-TX) gun control bill, the GOP has seen a massive reversal in its 2022 fortunes, with voters formerly excited to vote for the GOP and turn the tide against the left losing faith and turning against the party that stabbed them in the back on one of the few issues that they really care about.
Confused, RINOs reacted and wondered why the voters had suddenly lost interest in the party, with Senator Mitt Romney leading the charge and reacting quite strongly to the recent news, challenging the voters and saying:
“What, you disagree with one little thing we do and now you’re not going to vote for the party any more? We’re a big tent party, not a single issue party! Sure, we all might disagree on a few things, but that’s what makes it politics! We need to learn how to work together, not bicker over small issues and sweat all the little things.”
Fair words, though they seemed to be far from what was on Mitt’s mind when he was constantly fighting with and bickering Trump on every little issue, never working for the party but always working for himself.
They led to an even stronger reaction from the Republican base, a whopping 17 percent of which disaffiliated from the party in the wake of Cornyn’s betrayal and Romney’s ridiculous statement about voting for RINOs despite their betrayals.
Trump, reacting to the concern of the GOP base and his top voters and supporters, decided to leak that he might form his own political party, the “MAGA Party”. Discussing that move and the leak, Stephen Miller, a Trump aide, told Fox News Channel host Tucker Carlson that the “MAGA Party” would be “entirely free of RINOs, backstabbers, and other traitors to the conservative cause.”
That leak and announcement, though the creation of the party has not yet been entirely confirmed by anyone within the core Trump team, led to internecine fighting within the GOP, with all the MAGA senators, congressmen, and apparatchiks pledging that they’d switch parties in a heartbeat while the Mitt Romney and Bill Kristol type traitors, grifters, and cowards demanded that “everyone stick together”, though to what end or for what cause was left unsaid, as they stand for nothing.
Trump did hint that the rumors were true, however, as he posted a picture of a lion with the word “MAGA” scrawled across it and a meme of him chasing Mitt Romney around town with a pitchfork and torch as watching spectators hurled rotting fruit at the scared, cowering senator.
Tucker Carlson cheered the meme and news of the MAGA party on that night’s news, joking that Trump was going to beat Mitt Romney for good and do so in a very funny way, particularly if he chose to make the lion his symbol and keep roaring at the RINOs.