NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Kamala was supposed to be meeting with an unofficial English diplomat, Sir Roger Archibald, on Wednesday night. Though Sir Archibald wasn’t technically an official member of the British delegation, his word carries great weight both with the Crown and government, and so is a widely respected go-between for the Brits and America thanks to his position, American mother, and the respect granted him thanks to his aristocratic rank.
And so Kamala was sent to meet him, though for what reason she was chosen rather than someone less…terrible was unclear. Perhaps Team Biden wanted to show its dominance over the shriveled and shrunken British state by sending someone as incompetent as Kamala in the same way that Caligula asserted his dominance over the much diminished Roman Senate by appointing his horse consul.
In any case, it was Kamala sent to deal with the normally suave and polite Sir Archibald, with the two meeting to discuss the Anglo-American “Special Relationship” and how it can be strengthened now that Trump, loathed by the British because of his insistence that they pay a proper amount on defense spending, is out of office.
However, while the meeting started well, Kamala’s cackle so annoyed Sir Archibald that he started sipping brandy in an attempt to make his headache go away, hoping the liquor would calm and relax him before he did something uncouth or ungentlemanly.
It didn’t work, though no one really blamed him. Six glasses of brandy in, after having gotten nowhere in the meeting thanks to Kamala’s cackling and unpreparedness, not to mention her vapidity and complete ignorance of the subject matter and history regarding the special relationship between the US and UK, Sir Archibald finally lost it.
Slamming his glasses on the table and starting to yell, Sir Archibald apparently told Kamala that “both her ignorance and horrid, unladylike laugh” were “simply unbearable” and were “outshone on the negative front only by [her] vapidity.”
She then called him “racist,” to which he responded “No, I am not. You, however, are an obvious ignoramus.” Everyone else in the room, particularly the Secret Service agents who routinely have to put up with Kamala’s cackle and can’t stand it one bit. They were able to hide their laughs well enough, but when the members of the media started laughing, they couldn’t keep it contained and Kamala completely lost her cool, screaming at them while crying and saying that their laughs and snickers were “unprofessional.”
She then stormed out as well.
We couldn’t confirm what happened next, but sources within the White House tell us that no less than 7 members of Kamala’s security detail said much the same thing as Sir Archibald and left, meeting him at a bar to buy him yet more drinks and laugh about how horrible Kamala is.