NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Biden recently gave a long and winding speech on abortion rights in which he vociferously defended abortion rights, calling it the “constitutional right to choose” despite SCOTUS having decided there is no such constitutional right to choose. He said:
Doctor, thank you for sharing your story. And I’m sure there’s others like it many doctors across America have had to contemplate. Fifty-one years ago today, in Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court recognized a woman’s constitutional right to choose — constitutional right to choose — the right to make a deeply personal decision with her doctor, free from the interference of politicians.
I believe Roe v. Wade was right. I’m not supporting — we didn’t — they didn’t support abortion on demand. It was Roe v. Wade. Roe v. Wade was the decision. And a majority of Americans agree. But then, a year and a half ago, this — this Supreme Court — this Supreme Court made an extreme decision, overturning Roe with their Dobbs decision, to rip away a constitutional right from the American people, which had never been done before — a fundamental right ripped away — important to so many Americans, a right that is vital to a country founded on the idea of freedom.
I said on the — on that day that Roe was overturned, the health and lives of women in this nation would now be at risk. And that has unfortunately proven to be true. They have been at risk. It made them at risk — put them at risk. Today, in 2024 in America, women are turned away from emergency rooms, forced to travel hundreds of miles to get basic healthcare in another state that may have a different rule, forced to go to court to plead for help. Thanks to [Think of] the mothers of two in Texas — a mother of two in Texas, who was pregnant with her third child. From her doctor, she received the news no one wants to hear: The life of the child and her own life were at risk if she continued her pregnancy. But instead of being able to receive care from her doctor, she was blocked by the State of Texas Attorney General and the State Supreme Court.
Continuing with the speech, Biden argued quite strongly that America wouldn’t be America without the prodigious killing of unborn infants. He said, “This is America, Jack! Not North Korea! Not the Soviet Union! [note: the USSR was infamous for its high abortion rate] We can’t have these tyrants dictating what women do with their own bodies! We gotta be free!”
“Look, we need it! People need to spend money on food, on shelter, on living! Not on babies they don’t want. How can we live without killing babies, Jack?! Tell me! How? That’s right. We can’t. Just can’t afford it. And that’s a fact, Jack. So yeah, we gotta fight for the right to kill babies, errr, to the, the right to choose.”