NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
“Dr.” Jill Biden gave a short Independence Day speech to service members and their families on July 4th, 2023. It was supposed to be a short little thing that would lead to a good photo op and one or two quotations to post on Twitter in an attempt to rehabilitate the Administration’s image. That didn’t work.
Jill began with the usual sort of ramblings that come from politicians who never served in the armed forces but want to pretend that they identify with people in the military to pick up a few extra votes. She said:
Thank you, Chaplain Barkehmeyer. And thank you to the USO for helping to make this event so special and for being such a great partner to my White House Joining Forces initiative that supports military and veteran families, caregivers, and survivors. Secretary Austin, Charlene, my fellow military families, welcome to the White House!
All across the country and at bases around the world, people are gathering with family and friends to celebrate the birth of our nation. But even as we laugh with our nat- — neighbors and enjoy the parades and cookouts and fireworks, we can never lose sight of the freedoms that this day represents or the families who make that freedom possible, families like all of you.
You are the brave and the bold, and the nearly one percent of Americans who have made the choice to keep us all safe. You miss births and birthdays, graduation and weddings, because you choose to put our country’s security above your own. And you’re the spouses and children who serve as well, saying goodbye to friends and jobs, losing sleep when your service member is away, putting your chin up and your shoulders back no matter what this country asks of you. We are so grateful for all that you do. And our thoughts are with those serving overseas. As a military mom and as your first lady, I am honored and proud to share today with you, and I’m proud to be part of this military family.
Then she tried to identify herself even more closely with them, saying, “And look, we’re a military family too. I know I didn’t serve…but my two stepsons, Beau and Hunter, both served in the armed forces. And they loved their time there. They loved the camaraderie, the wonderful patriots involved, and getting to see the world on Uncle Sam’s dime.”
“Hunter still sees the world on Uncle Sam’s dime…or a few million dimes,” one service member audience joked, with the crowd roaring with laughter.
Dr. Jill’s face turned beet red and she snapped, “Hunter loved his time in the Navy!” That didn’t help, as another member of the crowd shouted, “Before he was kicked out for smoking crack?”
Jill stormed off stage, furious. Biden then attempted to speak but got distracted yelling about how his oatmeal didn’t have enough fruit in it when he visited the USS George Washington.