NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
It was another awkward day for Biden, this time thanks to a meeting he had with “Black male economic empowerment advocates,” during which he went horribly off script and ended up infuriating the people with whom he was meeting by referencing his son’s crack addiction and run ins with the law.
That’s not what one would have gotten from the press release that Team Biden put out on the matter, however. In its short statement on how things went for Team Biden at the meeting, the White House press office claimed:
On Tuesday, the White House Office of Public Engagement convened Black male economic empowerment advocates for a discussion with senior Administration officials on Bidenomics and the President’s ongoing efforts to deliver for Black Americans.
Meeting participants comprised of a nationwide network of over 40 Black investors, entrepreneurs, and advocates for economic opportunity, representing the fields of private equity, venture capital, asset management, and philanthropy. During the meeting, Biden-Harris Administration officials discussed the President’s steadfast commitment to accelerating access to capital for communities of color by promoting entrepreneurship, expanding government contracting opportunities, and investing in the workforce to create high-quality jobs.
Officials emphasized the Administration’s commitment to maintain and advance the implementation of the President’s policy agenda in order to ensure equitable growth across communities of color. Participants agreed to continue the conversation and work with the Administration to expand and promote entrepreneurial opportunities for Black Americans.
But that’s not quite how it went down. A source of ours within the White House, commenting on the situation, said: “Yeah, so that’s what was supposed to happen. Maybe they worse that ahead of time or something. But that’s just not at all what actually happened during the meeting. Like not at all.”
“So what really happened was that these guys showed up and…well, I’ll be honest, they were not exactly dressed to the nines, if you know what I mean. We’re talking t-shirts, ratty looking jeans, fake gold jewelry. It wasn’t a good look. Apparently they decided it’d be fun to prank Biden by wearing those outfits, just to see if he’d say something offensive. That’s how they got away with it…they showed up in nice suits and then changed in the restroom while people were looking for Biden. While staff were looking, I mean.”
“But, anyway, so they show up looking like that and Biden barely skipped a beat before he started talking about criminal records, Hunter’s experiences with the criminal justice system, that sort of nonsense. All the usual sort of nonsense. They found that funny and started playing along. But then Biden started asking them if they were the ones who sold Hunter crack, if they’d met him in jail, and like that sort of thing. They stopped laughing but he kept going, and he ended up rambling about Cornpop. Then they left in a huff. It was super uncomfortable.”