Skip to content

Hunter Receives Noble Peace Prize for Distracting Uniparty from Pushing War with Russia with Leak of Embarassing Videos

    shutterstock 1871062741
    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    While most in the political sphere have so far focused on the immense embarrassment caused the Biden Family, Biden White House, and US generally by the revelations about Hunter Biden and sickening videos of him smoking crack, normally while naked, not everyone has been so shortsighted.

    Some have instead looked at the positive side of the 4chan hack of Hunter’s iCloud account and the benefit afforded the world by the distraction caused by that leak.

    One such group looking at the positive side is the committee behind awarding the Nobel Peace Prize, which realized that what Hunter had done by distracting the world with his…uncovered netherregions and crack pipe is save it from a potential nuclear war.

    Explaining the decision, the folks behind awarding the prize, people who broke past precedents by awarding the prize after just a day of deliberations and at a time far different from when the award is normally given, said:

    Normally we would wait to award this until the proper time when all Nobel awards are handed out. However, the pressing urgency of what Hunter accomplished cannot be ignored. He might have singlehandedly saved the world from nuclear war between the US and Russia by making his password so weak that randos on an internet message forum could hack it and spill pictures of him smoking crack while naked and hanging out with prostitutes. 

    “How did he do so? By distracting the US warmongers. Before the leak, America seemed headed on the path to war with Putin’s Russia. The various warhawk senators in the Uniparty, none of whom have ever actually fought a war, much less seen the US win one, were all pushing for war with Putin. They’ve been sending weapons abroad, demanding deeper US involvement, and letting allies like the UK go crazy and demand ever more action against Russia. 

    “It was a scary situation, one that could easily have escalated into hydrogen bombs falling and Polaris missiles flying. 

    “But not anymore! Now the lemmings are all distracted by pictures of Hunter Biden in the nude with a crack pipe dangling from his mouth. It might be tawdry, might be uncomfortable, might be a bit weird and embarrassing, particularly for Hunter and his dad.

    “Still, despite that embarrassment caused by the leak, it led to peace. The vapid fools in charge of US policy have been diverted from starting a nuclear war by pictures of a crackhead’s genitalia, and so the world is saved and we must thank that crackhead with the Nobel Peace Prize.

    Hunter could not be reached for comment on the issue of his prize or the leak, as he’s been busy hiding from controversy in his favorite crackhouse. Perhaps he’s building up a larger reservoir of pictures to avert the next nuclear war.

    By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of GenZConservative.com. Follow me on Facebook and Subscribe to My Email List

    What 3 Letter organization would you want to abolish?(Required)
    This poll gives you free access to our premium politics newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
    This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.