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Hunter Shocked to Learn Ordinary Americans Don’t Pay $50k per Month in Rent

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    Hunter Biden got very, very confused on Friday night. While hanging out at a DC bar with some friends, drinking top shelf bourbon paid for with a Chinese credit card, the question of his whopper of a $50k a month rent bill came up.

    Hunter, who had made that number up based on a Rosemont Seneca expense in the hope of seeming rich enough to make it into an exclusive community, didn’t want to admit that he had lied and was broke other than the spending allowed him by his Chinese handlers.

    So, talking to the friends, who were pressing him on if he really paid that much, Hunter tried to play it cool. Responding when asked C’mon, Hunter, you weren’t really paying your dad that much for rent, were you?”, Hunter said:

    “What? Is that a lot? It just seemed like what dad wanted, so I made sure he got it. You never know what bills older people have. Their joints wear out, they need to see the doctor more, gotta do some home renovations to make it easier for them to get around. So yeah, I just figured it was what dad needed so I was happy to help him out with paying it. Plus, it wasn’t really that much. Just $50k a month.”

    “Hunter,” one of them fired back, “that is a lot. Particularly for rent. Most Americans make less than that in a year. And have to cover all expenses with it. No Chinese credit cards for them, no nice rubies sent over by Zhang. They gotta live on how much you were paying your dad for rent each month.”

    Another friend quipped “Hunter, you’re the one retard who managed to pay more for living at home with your parents than living on your own. How’d you manage that?”

    Hunter was shocked by what the first friend said, being so out of touch that he had no idea that the average American lived on that little. “Wait,” he said, “the average guy lives on like $50k a year? That’s like my clothes and liquor budget. Maybe less than that. Yikes.”

    “Not the average guy, Hunter,” the friend responded. “The average American family. Like 6 people can live on that and be considered lower middle class instead of poor. You’re so out of touch, man.”

    Hunter, shocked, decided he needed to drink away his surprise before he let it slip that he hadn’t really paid $50k a month for rent. Catching the eye of the bartender, he said “three more, for all of us, please. And add a nice tip for yourself.”

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